Venus in Transit

3 am with core issues rising up (S).  I look at them (N) in new light.  I speak and write (E/W) to ground them (S).  This circular pattern of transmutation turns again and again decomposing matter like a compost bin. This circle is sacred healing space.

The core issue came through loud and clear:  I don’t trust men.   What does this really mean?  I know to the depth, height, and breadth that I can see clearly.  This is what I know now.  Throughout my life I have been drawn to men through sexual attraction and men who lust after women.  I call them womanizers.  Dad encoded the pattern and the men that I chose thereafter supported that code. 

Womanizers don’t focus light but rather diffuse it, scatter it.  I’ve noticed the way men look when they are with you but lusting elsewhere and that look is out of body.  They are missing in action.  They are not even at a surface level.  When I teach Circle of Life classes most participants stay on the surface and never go deep into emotional territory although this was not the case last week at Cascadia Community College with Creative Arts Club members.  This group was dynamic and open and a gift to me as teacher to see depth open up and be reflected on paper, on Circle of Life maps.

One of the men in my life was abused as a child.  He acted out his pain through womanizing patterns.  When I would call him on it he told me I was hallucinating.  It was crazy making!  He was a teacher.  This man wanted to write but never did.  He wanted to retire from a job he hated but never did.  This man lied to himself and to me.  I left him.  He died of throat cancer a few years later.  This man blocked energy from circulating through his systems spiritually, emotionally, mentally, physically.  He blocked Light.

Spirit / North / Air

Emotion/ South / Fire

Mind / East / Water

Body / West / Earth 

I know that my issues with men and sex are entangled in my issues with food which is why it is critical that I ground all of this through the circulation and transmutation of Light.  This is enlightenment:  a process not a destination.  The process is the destination because Light is at the core and runs through all drama omnipresent.

My core issue with food is intensified.  Collective core issues are intensified.  The evil that we see and hear on mainstream TV is shocking.  Humans are acting insane, like demons.  Our personal and our collective unconscious (S) opens up and Light filters through to penetrate more deeply.  We are part of the process.  We watch (N) it rise (S) and receive it with loving circular arms (E/W).  Who is present to do this work?  I am and We are Light Workers.

I am Light.  I am dark dense matter.  These two merge more deeply and toxins hit the fan, ugly toxins, evil toxins, demonic toxins that have been held in Earth for ages. I focus at my core and let the heated process move.