Shades of Loneliness

This blog is a living story about my relationship with Light and how that relationship transforms and evolves me. I watch it unfold moment by moment and day by day through rhythmic cycles and circles of e-motion. Emotion that teaches me what works and what does not work. What is harmonious and what is not.

So, I'm tracking loneliness. Last night when I got the impulse to eat more food after dinner I explained to inner child that I/we were not lonely and I/we didn't need to eat. It worked! The pull resided!

As a child in the East loneliness looked like solitude as I built camps in the woods and rode my bike to far off places. As an adolescent in the South I was "in love" with my high school sweetheart (that's what was expected of me and what my hormones regulated) and popular (I was nice to everyone) as cheerleader and homecoming queen. On the surface I didn't appear to be lonely. As a teen parent and young adult in the West I was very lost and depressed -- I was lonely searching for externals to fill the inner void. I hit bottom and had a spiritual awakening. Now, in the North loneliness doesn't mean the same as it did in the East, South or West. Now that loneliness has identified itself I am watching and listening to learn more. I do know that I have more women friends than I've ever had. There is now a busy traffic pattern on my cell phone and at my door. It's sooo fun! I don't have one person, however, with whom I can share my spiritual side and my mystical journeys. So I share them here.