S L O W I N G Down

I never knew how driven I was. Work, volunteer, spiritual pursuits. Push, push, push. Yesterday I watched myself spin too fast doing chores around the house! How absurd! Where did I learn this? No doubt from mom who had 6 kids to care for. Mom who took little time for herself. And dad who was also a hard worker. And from the culture and time that seems to think that spinning fast is the way to be successful. I am getting a handle on my own spin and s l o w i n g down.

This new place of being happened after several shifts of pushing this way and pushing that way regarding new ideas and projects. I have to trust my gut instincts and keep moving until I find the right balance through inner and outer equilibrium. That balance includes more than me as one part.

I am thinking of ways that I don't have to go back to a corporate job. I don't want to multi-task and sit behind a computer. I want to slow down and simplify. I so love being outside working with the soil and plants under open sky. (I've noticed there are days when I can't be out in the open with the elements. Days when I have to turn within to inner elements and a cocoon state for healing purposes. I guess this is North and Bear hibernating.) My neighbor has a nursery/landscaping business and I am going to help her out a few hours a week. This is what I want to do...along with my Circle classes. As I mentioned to David Spangler via email this morning: "I feel like a horse being put out to pasture!"

Will this state of being shift like so many other ideas and projects have? It does seem to be a turbulent time riding the waves of change. As always the task is not to be attached to externals but to notice balance in the moment.

I'm determined to repair my garden hose so I went to the local hardware store. As I walked in I was face to face and eye to eye with the blackest face I have ever seen. Instantaneoulsy, in a split second my nerves communicated surprise and then my body smiled at him. At the check-out counter I told this young man that I didn't want plastic. He was happily supportive. I said that I was a tree hugger. He said that he was also. I extended my hand and we connected hand in hand. I will probably invite him to one of the local Global Oneness Project events.