Gates of Hell

Gratitudes to Columbia River, Mt Hood, Pacific Ocean, green nature. Gratitudes for walking into beauty of a new circle of day and night. Gratitudes for turning.

Ghoul is parasite, is predator is toxic is black hole = Law of Repulsion.

Sun is giver, is creator, is alkaline is light shine = Law of Attraction.

Sun does not penetrate black hole -- it goes around. Why? Because black hole is void.

Humans have created monsters and demons out of this empty dark force. It is not a monster. It is present for us to go around -- which includes conscious awareness. It is present at all levels from micro to macro.

Attraction and repulsion can work together when healthy boundaries are present. This involves new programming and new system(s).

Intense Tuesday with positive and negative pulls and pushes. Felt like going through the gates of hell. Felt like fire and ice. I kept moving through it all. It was crazy! I was being torn apart as I was answering phone calls!

One day last week I awoke to an image of two halves. One side dark the other smooth and empty. My older sister came through the dark side. Emotional roots coming up! At my age I'm remembering my big sister who was not happy nor nice. At the same time I reached out to her for advice regarding my family crisis...she told me about working with trauma through somatic healing. People and the planet can use this healing work!

Last night I went for a walk here at my hotel. I was looking for Nature on the busy street. I saw a dark grey boulder near the sidewalk. I stopped to connect. A feminine lacy cedar tree was next to it. I looked down and my eye was in direct line with a heart rock! Nature is so giving...S/he is Law of Attraction.

In the disintegration was integration. Artist Roger encourages me to do my own illustrations since I have done the drawings with flowing lines and colors. He will support me. My timid side and insecurities come up around learning curves. It has to do with childhood stuff. I do thank Trish, however, for being who she is. My spirit loves my ego with its darker side of fear. I go around my fears.

A new development regarding my grant project. I was seeing myself going to native tribes to offer Circle of Life. Elders at United Indians are interested in going with me to Muckleshoot and the director of the program gave me permission to take some of them. She mentioned that they usually gamble...not something I do but can make adjustments. I am going to ask the elders if we can offer prayers to Green River. All this pending Muckleshoot response. This brings in new substance for the project and new information for grant writing. Which is what I now go participate in with Potlatch Fund.

I offended some Natives yesterday. I am learning to be quiet...usually after the fact. In my outreach to one woman she told me that she didn't want to connect with me. I didn't react. I stayed with her and somehow wove the word "love" into the conversation. Someone later in the day said that we are all family...I appreciated that. I am thinking about prayer this morning and wondering if its appropriate for me to offer a prayer before our workshop? It will depend on my emotional meter and whether my blood rises or not. My ego doesn't want to offend and be separate...my emotional blood has a mind of its own however and so I get to feel vulnerable. Which is more ego stuff!!!

Ahhh....this thing called Life!