Choice Points

He pulls me in to push me away then pulls me in to push me away….again and again. This energetic pattern creates an orbit, a comfort zone. There have been more than one “he” creating these orbits in my life and I notice my own pattern: over time something changes at my core and in my consciousness that has to do with chemistry, fire, feelings. Which one comes first? Does it matter? They are all connected.

Instead of engaging in the familiar arcing pattern I choose to move on in a straight trajectory bypassing the old orbit. I think Gregg Braden uses the term “choice points”….these are my choice points. On how many levels is this choice and change occurring? How many bodies are involved: physical, mental, emotional, astral, psychic, cosmic?

Choice points are not full of sadness or regret. They are times of liberation and freedom. Choice points of conscious change transcend “forgiveness” because they are not about ego dramas. They are about chemistry, core fire and feelings. One is simply acknowledging laws of nature that move in one’s inner and outer life.

I used to think I cut chords with people but now I see it differently. I see it as trajectory change. And perhaps there is a cutting of a chord in this process. Love still exists for the other person and myself….not for the old pattern. And friendship is possible in a new orbit that honors the new chemistry, core fire, feelings. Egos hang on to the old filled with fear and regret.

A SCALLOPS member in another city told me about someone in their group who was not cooperative and ended up leaving the group. I commented that it is great the way people weed themselves out. He thanked me for having such a positive outlook. Our personal and collective orbits are gardens. There is ongoing weeding to be done to create homeostasis. As gardeners we learn to align with Natural Law and Order.

Reminding me that I have weeding to do in my strawberry patch as the buttercups are dominating. Yes, the same buttercups that yelled at me for pulling them out. Perhaps it’s time to replant the remaining strawberries in a different location in the garden. Perhaps the soil is depleted after so many years of holding and nourishing the same strawberries. Perhaps even my vegetable/fruit/herb/flower garden has a “choice point” of change. The buttercups have a lot of room to grow outside my garden….and that’s where they are welcome. It looks like they cannot be in my garden at all because it is their nature to spread. I honor their root system, green branches, leaves and beautiful yellow flowers. However, as a Gardener aware of the whole I am responsible for sustaining balance. Would they be happy in a pot in my garden? Is that a way to relate to them? I will ask them.