Truth & Respect

I was at the CSA yesterday picking vegetables and thought how peaceful and quiet it was without tracker bugging me. That was short lived. This morning he struck-out/acted out. His motion and sound is intentional and strikes at South core. The only response he gets from this woman these days is: Truth as I see it. This intrusive and inappropriate behavior toward me cancels out positive work he's doing. The book that is being released cannot have the same impact as it would if the leader at the core was honest with beams/lines straight rather than distorted and short circuited. Leaders of communities are responsible for their communities and must be held accountable. If they cannot do this for themselves others need to take a stand and revolt. People are lethargic in their "hero" worship. People give their power to others. I will not be silent. Lies will not be hidden forever nor will secret lives. The veil thins.

There was a Native American man I met in tracker's community years ago. He had a way of telling people they weren't doing this and that the "right" way. He and I didn't like each other/get along. (Not sure the "spiritual" way to say that.) I heard he continues in that same pattern. Why would a man choose this path of language? Does it give him a sense of authority? I revolt/bolt and will not participate. I will not be told what is "right" from someone else. Perhaps it shows I don't like external discipline and authority. My focus and my path continues to listen for what's "right" inside out. Sacred Feminine will not let a man tell her what is "right" unless it's coming from Sacred Masculine. That relationship is on an entirely new and different level than egos butting heads.

Tracker does not find response at South core not only because his motion and sound is dissonant but also because Fire doesn't live there anymore....at least this woman's fire. I'm not sure where it went. Maybe I'm becoming androgynous. Maybe fire is diffused amongst the parts. I cannot relate in the same way sexually because my sexuality has changed. Part of me senses a loss that maybe comes with elder age. Maybe someday I will explore this terrain with a sacred partner...and maybe not. I'm content. I'm more whole. This creates new scenarios with new lessons of Truth.

I do want to give credit to masculine point in space for respecting me and giving me space to cool down. His motion and sound brought up a lot of passion and when these currents have no place to ground it's very disorienting emotionally. Spirituality (higher consciousness that includes the parts) includes emotion...it is the vehicle for motion though sensual outlets. Spirituality includes thinking...it's the vehicle for making logical choices and directing emotion. I respect this external masculine point in space for his thoughtful and conscious choices.