Dark Waters
A lot of "9" showing up today. That mystical number.
I've been using YouTube songs via Facebook to communicate with family that is in a disconnect right now.
Monday morning I was realizing how emotionless I was about family. I had no feeling of connection and had no emotion. (This reminds me of the biblical story where one man is asked by God to kill his child...and then he doesn't have to.) I had been thinking about when/if I would call or write to reach out to them.
Body didn't move in any direction so I stayed in that void. Until Monday morning when, without thinking, body turned to the phone and called leaving a message. I then received an email and we are now talking. I'm expressing boundaries that I've never offered myself or my family before. And I'm offering information about my own journey and being a parent at age 19. I will not be screamed at. I will be respected for my concerns. I will not be a target for your rage and defensiveness. Boundaries. I never had them growing up because we didn't talk about personal issues/feelings. Boundaries. I was not available as a young mother because of my relationship with Kundalini that took me out of body. It was not easy on my kids.
The journey has led me to ground in my body and in this world. Love has been woven angel to angel in my family. Now, we get to go deeper in our relationships because we are talking at a deeper level. Conflicts and breaks can be so valuable in this "capacity building" experience of Life.
"Negative" is an empty space of doing nothing and nothingness. It is the dark shadow of self. Fear not. Go there. Then turn around and welcome light with one round embrace. Such an emotional journey...exactly the way we are designed.
A feeling came through when I was being churned about without any ground under me. Thought that accompanied the feeling was: I am nowhere and I am everywhere. It was not a blissful feeling. I felt alone, sad and empty. Darkness can be like that. Darkness can trick you into thinking there is no light at the end of it. But...because of the inner work I've done I know sacred ground. Because of the inner work and my relationship with Spirit I am able to turn, turn, turn again and again.
I let go to a larger intelligence that is orderly in the chaos. I let go to LOVE's LIGHT.
I've been using YouTube songs via Facebook to communicate with family that is in a disconnect right now.
Monday morning I was realizing how emotionless I was about family. I had no feeling of connection and had no emotion. (This reminds me of the biblical story where one man is asked by God to kill his child...and then he doesn't have to.) I had been thinking about when/if I would call or write to reach out to them.
Body didn't move in any direction so I stayed in that void. Until Monday morning when, without thinking, body turned to the phone and called leaving a message. I then received an email and we are now talking. I'm expressing boundaries that I've never offered myself or my family before. And I'm offering information about my own journey and being a parent at age 19. I will not be screamed at. I will be respected for my concerns. I will not be a target for your rage and defensiveness. Boundaries. I never had them growing up because we didn't talk about personal issues/feelings. Boundaries. I was not available as a young mother because of my relationship with Kundalini that took me out of body. It was not easy on my kids.
The journey has led me to ground in my body and in this world. Love has been woven angel to angel in my family. Now, we get to go deeper in our relationships because we are talking at a deeper level. Conflicts and breaks can be so valuable in this "capacity building" experience of Life.
"Negative" is an empty space of doing nothing and nothingness. It is the dark shadow of self. Fear not. Go there. Then turn around and welcome light with one round embrace. Such an emotional journey...exactly the way we are designed.
A feeling came through when I was being churned about without any ground under me. Thought that accompanied the feeling was: I am nowhere and I am everywhere. It was not a blissful feeling. I felt alone, sad and empty. Darkness can be like that. Darkness can trick you into thinking there is no light at the end of it. But...because of the inner work I've done I know sacred ground. Because of the inner work and my relationship with Spirit I am able to turn, turn, turn again and again.
I let go to a larger intelligence that is orderly in the chaos. I let go to LOVE's LIGHT.
posted by Community Threads @ 9:44 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home