Wings of Love
More is coming up regarding the years I opened my heart, mind and body to Tracker. The sexual energy he ran my way replayed the energy in my childhood and adolescence. No, my father did not molest any of his children. He did act out inappropriately with women and was unavailable emotionally. He was also a man who liked people, had a great sense of humor, worked hard and volunteered a lot. I remember going to drive-in movies with my parents where we'd watch violent and sexual movies (mild then compared to movies now) when I was young. I was sensitive to this lower chakra energy and thought this arousal of feeling in body was love.
If I had been told as a young girl that I am a whole person with male logic and female emotion I would have had a very different life. If young girls and boys were told this today they would be having a different experience. As it is boys and girls/men and women seek externals to make themselves whole. Each person is whole and holy. We remember and express our divinity going forth in higher vibratory love.
More Tracker story to tell in the process of elimination of deep wounds in my psyche that I am responsible for. As an adult I am responsible for what I let in and what I let out. Emotional eating...digesting...and elimnation is unconscious as a child but changes as one grows up. As I become conscious of patterns that are out of alignment with my highest Self I adjust and change. Truth telling from one's depth is part of the process. Those afraid, resistant or simply not ready in this lifetime do not change. Thankfully there are many of us on the planet ready and willing to do this work to one degree or another. All this light filtering darkn of matter is having significant effect in this realm/reality.
Years ago Tracker knew where I was and when because of email hacking. I remember the first time he followed me camping. It was at this time I suspected that he had a tracking device on my car...treating me like one of his wolves. It felt intrusive but I liked the attention. And it was erotic with a lot of sexual fire. Without grounding in this realm the "games" -- I don't know what else to call them -- of telepathic relating became very old and boring. His marriage was a wake up call. I didn't want anymore telepathic fire. I wanted something real in this realm.
Today, years later, I sometimes pick up his signal as I drive my car. It's not as intense and frequent as it used to be. He continues to come around/stalk and harrass me with his sexual fire. That fire now hits my body but it does not move through or ignite any other part of my system. Why? Because I have no feelings, no attraction to this man. Because of this his "hits" feel toxic which is how I know his signal. My response now is to smile in knowing that my vibratory space is not in the same place it was years ago. His choice to assault with toxins is his karma and plays out sooner AND later.
It may be too early to say but I'm feeling a new connection between my brain, mouth and stomach. Reminds me of "muscle testing" as I scan the food I want to eat to see if it's going to balance my system. It's an energetic connection. Does that mean that choosing foods has a new feedback loop? More automatic and natural and less stuck? Has some stagnation cleared? It's also as if I'm absorbing food again with blockage released. I'm not afraid of this healing and clearing process and am grateful for the space I have in which to do this.
I love permaculture! Blessings to Bill Mollison, David Holmgren and all other permaculture teachers who are serving as acuptuncture needles in the healing of Mother Earth. I love knowing that zone 5 is where the land is left natural -- for Nature Spirits. I mentioned this in class yesterday not sure of the response I would get. A teacher acknowledged with, "Yes, for faeries and pixies..." I'm so glad to know that there is a place for these spiritual relations--those with whom I relate. There is hope for the healing of our beloved Earth Mother.
I tell my story not in retaliation or anger. I tell my story through Love that moves through me like filtered Light. I speak my Truth so that it can reverberate through my own system and loosen deeper matter that needs to be released for the healing of the whole. Here/now I extend a huge circular embrace to this human family in whose head, heart, hands and wings is the future of this beloved home and Mother Ship.
If I had been told as a young girl that I am a whole person with male logic and female emotion I would have had a very different life. If young girls and boys were told this today they would be having a different experience. As it is boys and girls/men and women seek externals to make themselves whole. Each person is whole and holy. We remember and express our divinity going forth in higher vibratory love.
More Tracker story to tell in the process of elimination of deep wounds in my psyche that I am responsible for. As an adult I am responsible for what I let in and what I let out. Emotional eating...digesting...and elimnation is unconscious as a child but changes as one grows up. As I become conscious of patterns that are out of alignment with my highest Self I adjust and change. Truth telling from one's depth is part of the process. Those afraid, resistant or simply not ready in this lifetime do not change. Thankfully there are many of us on the planet ready and willing to do this work to one degree or another. All this light filtering darkn of matter is having significant effect in this realm/reality.
Years ago Tracker knew where I was and when because of email hacking. I remember the first time he followed me camping. It was at this time I suspected that he had a tracking device on my car...treating me like one of his wolves. It felt intrusive but I liked the attention. And it was erotic with a lot of sexual fire. Without grounding in this realm the "games" -- I don't know what else to call them -- of telepathic relating became very old and boring. His marriage was a wake up call. I didn't want anymore telepathic fire. I wanted something real in this realm.
Today, years later, I sometimes pick up his signal as I drive my car. It's not as intense and frequent as it used to be. He continues to come around/stalk and harrass me with his sexual fire. That fire now hits my body but it does not move through or ignite any other part of my system. Why? Because I have no feelings, no attraction to this man. Because of this his "hits" feel toxic which is how I know his signal. My response now is to smile in knowing that my vibratory space is not in the same place it was years ago. His choice to assault with toxins is his karma and plays out sooner AND later.
It may be too early to say but I'm feeling a new connection between my brain, mouth and stomach. Reminds me of "muscle testing" as I scan the food I want to eat to see if it's going to balance my system. It's an energetic connection. Does that mean that choosing foods has a new feedback loop? More automatic and natural and less stuck? Has some stagnation cleared? It's also as if I'm absorbing food again with blockage released. I'm not afraid of this healing and clearing process and am grateful for the space I have in which to do this.
I love permaculture! Blessings to Bill Mollison, David Holmgren and all other permaculture teachers who are serving as acuptuncture needles in the healing of Mother Earth. I love knowing that zone 5 is where the land is left natural -- for Nature Spirits. I mentioned this in class yesterday not sure of the response I would get. A teacher acknowledged with, "Yes, for faeries and pixies..." I'm so glad to know that there is a place for these spiritual relations--those with whom I relate. There is hope for the healing of our beloved Earth Mother.
I tell my story not in retaliation or anger. I tell my story through Love that moves through me like filtered Light. I speak my Truth so that it can reverberate through my own system and loosen deeper matter that needs to be released for the healing of the whole. Here/now I extend a huge circular embrace to this human family in whose head, heart, hands and wings is the future of this beloved home and Mother Ship.
posted by Community Threads @ 9:14 AM
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