Sad

I wrote this earlier this month and have decided to post it:

Swarm intelligence or Not.  Today I am aware of the latter in my personal life.

At a grange meeting I offered to give a Transition report and was informed that I could not…that Transition is no longer a committee.  What?  Later I asked for a written statement from the Grange Master so I could inform TW members at a business meeting.  The Master emailed in response that he had a change of mind and was selecting an investigative committee to look into whether TW fits with Grange mission.  No statement came through.  I am aware of being grateful for Grange support and also aware of the woman who brought the relationship down.  I think of karma—past, present, future.

I see TW members discouraged because we don’t have a unified project and we don’t have numbers of people responding.   Everyone seems to be going different directions lacking common feedback loops. 

I hear self-righteous permaculture people putting others down because of the way they are doing or not doing something.  I’m really tired of this arrogance from permaculture “experts.”  This is not intelligence!  This is ego and not sustainable!  Where’s the emotional intelligence expertise!  Know-it-alls have blinders on and do not see opportunities for community—they totally miss the spirit that is present in the parts.  Know-it-alls dismiss anything that is different. 

Relationships are ending and I feel sad.  Logic informs me that dark follows light and doors that close make room for new doors to open.   

I move forward with my Happiness project planting seeds in new ground though feeling sad…an emotion informing me of change around me. 

Why does change make me sad?  Maybe because this loss of relationship lacks swarm intelligence…and yet...this is also intelligence arranging the parts in new order.