Hormones Speak

Expressing feelings honestly, from the core, makes one vulnerable. It's like turning oneself inside out and in so doing being exposed to the elements of nature and thus change. Honesty brings integration and disintegration and one never knows what the transformational effects will be.

The new drumming circle was more dissonate than resonate. The sounds felt chaotic. Perhaps because I was not in a good mental space due to an earlier incident. The teacher, however, offered something synchronistic. He had an X marked in the middle of the circle and a chair that swiveled. He encouraged us to sit in the center and turn full circle to listen to the different musical sounds. One could tune to all the parts as if they were beaming at you. That center place of X reminds me of "middle earth."

At the library yesterday I was online renting a car for my trip and in the process of checking my emails a surge of emotional energy came in and then quickly stopped. I wondered who was behind that communication...who was at the end of that line. Later I got that it was Tracker...who has followed me on trips. At first I had no emotional response and thought I would ignore him as he has no power over me. A little later I felt the impressions of a man invading a woman's personal space. It felt toxic...creepy. Emotional gears shifted and I got upset feeling helpless and vicitmized. And then...another shift...and I got angry! I now have a plan of action: Call the local sheriff's deputy who took the last report about this stalker; Get the names and numbers of detectives in LA and San Diego; Know the local police in the areas I'm staying; and Talk to Ford about taking my rental car to their service departments to check for tracking devices. These different gears of emotion represent different "hormonal" responses. I grew up as a timid and self-conscious child. I carry some of those qualities to this day. I am now learning to say "NO." It feels strong and masculine...what hormone would it be?

I continue to take a stand and speak out for sacred and safe feminine space. There are invisible boundaries and visible laws to protect women. Reading a woman's emails, stalking and invading her personal space is illegal and has consequences. I support consequences. I am not a timid and weak female who will be abused by a male. It's time for women to be more strong and men to be more soft. What hormones can assist with this balance? Are they hormones already moving in the whole system or are they hormones yet to reveal themselves?

Last I heard Tracker lives in the Bay area. He comes to this area regularly to work on CyberTracking and teach at his Wilderness school in Duvall. I have given this information to local authorities.



Google:

Estrogen is probably the most widely known and discussed of all hormones. The term "estrogen" actually refers to any of a group of chemically similar hormones; estrogenic hormones are sometimes mistakenly referred to as exclusively female hormones when in fact both men and women produce them. However, the role estrogen plays in men is not entirely clear.

In order to understand the role estrogens play in women, it is important to understand something about hormones in general. Hormones are vital chemical substances in humans and animals. Often referred to as "chemical messengers," hormones carry information and instructions from one group of cells to another. In the human body, hormones influence almost every cell, organ and function. They regulate our growth, development, tissue function, sexual function, the way our bodies use food, the reaction of our bodies to emergencies, and even our moods.