Change

The oldest sister is two years ahead of me. She is a psychotherapist and is writing her life story. She sent me her chapter about growing up in Puyallup. She is intelligent and I enjoyed reading her experience until she made hateful comments about mom and dad that made me feel sick in heart and stomach. Now I’m not sure how to give her feedback. I don't want to stay on the periphery. So, do I tell her that she chose her parents and family for lessons in this lifetime? Do I tell her that she came into this life with karmic patterns? Do I tell her again that mom, dad and all five of her siblings adored her putting her on a pedestal? Do I tell her she was just like mom and dad: unavailable emotionally with dark clouds around her? How much can I say to my oldest sister who never was?

Son-in-law and daughter-in-law are no longer tiptoeing around the patriarch of the family. Thanksgiving dinner is a bust. I told him I was going hiking where it is peaceful (though I’ve since received two invitations to dinners) and that I was sad our family is so broken. Will he have a change of heart? Will he be willing to apologize to one and bend for the other?

I had a blind coffee date last week. He’s an older man yet probably my age. I forget how old I am/look as I feel younger than I did at 25. He’s involved in Mountaineers and gardening and is interested in seeing the Heritage Garden that I manage. He’s also a widower who talks a lot about his wife. His slow and quiet demeanor was peaceful. No sparks of attraction…which could be a good thing knowing my track record with men. I welcome male friends into my life.

My boss was saying that he took his kite on his Mexican vacation with his partner. Kite! I love to fly kites. So what if I announced into the cosmos: Mature woman seeking man to fly kites. Truth is I love being single with no one in my personal space. I love the independence and that I only have to deal with my own baggage.

My part-time hours at work are being cut back for the winter season. I called a local retirement home to see if I might teach my Circle of Life class. She hired me immediately for April in their Family Ties series. She asked about my fee: $50, $75? I didn’t want to be greedy so I accepted $50 an hour. I immediately went to the library and printed out pages and pages of other retirement homes in King County. I would love to teach Circle of Life to supplement my income.