Dreamtime

Eating small portions of raw fruit, vegetables and a salad yesterday made me light-headed. At Sierra Club’s phone bank, with  those long necked Cormorants in trees, I was victorious when I said “no thank you” to pizza. A few minutes later I almost caved in, hearing a voice in my head say: “Maybe you can have the toppings but not the crust.” I caught that (who is this “I” now catching a suggestive message?) and did not cave in. Victory in the moment!

At one point in the afternoon I thought about past life regression with starving girl, samurai warrior and dinosaur chomping lush greens. Imagine all this grief being held by Gaia. Imagine ancient creatures who starved and lost their lives—lives now fueling our homes and cars. Imagine all those in worldwide plagues and famines. This is a lot for Gaia and her people to hold. Relief comes through cleansing—at all levels.

Later my body felt a moment of rage. I watched it but nerves and muscles didn’t act it out. I did, however, get the impression of mom’s rage. That was new! That was real! My mind knew mom was angry and severely depressed. Now my body revealed that it knew as well. That memory was buried deep. Do I use food to keep pain buried?

I am opening the books by Marianne and Eldon spontaneously knowing that the page I open is the message for the moment. I am doing this several times a day.

A Course in Weight Loss (I seek pH balance, not weight loss) opened to page 161: “Your craving for food is an emotional temper tantrum, as a part of you that feels unheard is demanding to be and will be heard. You have two choices: you can feel your emotion, or you can listen to the cruel command to do something to temporarily assuage the pain of not feeling it. Clearly, feeling the emotion would be a more functional choice.

If you have no template for honoring feelings, processing them, bearing witness to them, surrendering them, and watching them miraculously transform, then they can appear in your life as frightening energy ruling you instead of being ruled by you. It’s time to end your emotional slavery by building your spiritual mastery. This is the first book I’ve read by Marianne Williamson. Her words are soothing, medicinal—and timely. It’s simply time that our paths cross."

I sometimes dream of men who I don’t know in this realm, expressing affection toward me. This morning I had a dream about such a man and I was responding warmly to his attentiveness. The quality of interaction held new vibrational tone that I don’t have words for. Maybe it was a "humming" in space. Maybe it was a “holding pattern.” It was sweet, beautiful, loving. In one dream frame he was wearing two necklaces. I looked closely at one and it was a light colored cord with canoe paddle…very vertical. More masculine energy! I appreciate masculinity of dream time.

 Grey Owl Owlet Canoe Paddle