Relationships

My emotional body wants to express love/gratitude to Deepak...and this does include personal ego body bridging (cord) with spirit. Deepak's energetic work in the world is assisting the whole body in moving forward (cord) which means up and out of dark, old patterns. The ego body does need recognition and praise and that energy moves through ego into a higher spiritual system. New ego body doesn't claim love for oneself as if it was starving and had no boundaries...but moves it through boundary cords to include the whole. This is a new quality of thanks giving and love. It's circular and includes linear cords.

I've been hearing some rattling of chains and whispering pf haunts as they pass through my systems. Old ways are being released. I noticed anger toward men who need a mother and caretaker. Men who swallow women up because they are needy, compulsive. Men who won't be friends if they cannot be lovers. Women are not pieces of meat. I want to scream and I'm sure this anger runs deep and back into childhood. Outward anger reflects inward anger toward myself for all the times I bought into "I just want to hold you, I just want to be held." It sounds innocent enough -- who's not going to fall for that? Me! I recently told a man that I wanted something deeper: spiritual intimacy.

I notice that I have difficulty with surface conversations. Mind and mouth don't always work. It's like there is a blank tape within. I even get this way around family and it's awkward. It has to do with memory. Some sort of mis-firing going on relating to this world. I much prefer talking about deeper subjects...where I am more my true self. It's awkward not to be able to project one's truth. I continue to learn to ground in this world.

Those cords' colors and textures are still with me. I must be a cord and it's reflecting back to me. Communicating to me. Another relationship to wrap around and love.