Fuming Mad

He asked me, “Are you okay?” and proceeded to comfort me with, “Just do what you can do now and do the rest later” and “Take a deep breath.” I appreciate this outer male voice when I can’t locate my own inner logic. Men like him make me think that I want to start…dating!

I was so mad! In fact I was fuming mad and those fumes lasted a good while. Thank goodness most of the people had left the monthly meeting and social event. For those still there their mouths were open and they looked aghast. Now they know that I can get mad and what that sounds like/looks like. I wasn’t out of control mad – I was logically mad. In that process of emotional release I checked in and noticed there was absolutely no room for inner compromise. It felt like a small space...I was consumed. I was still mad driving the short distance home. The odd thing was I fell asleep immediately and slept well. I’m not ashamed of getting angry. It was honest. As a result I will not work with a woman in the Transition group who has lost all credibility with me. As a result I know more about not getting entangled in her dysfunctional patterns. I'm noticing that I am "wearing" red anger more these days and that I am speaking up and acting on everything in my world...both positive and negative/light and dark! Can my brain/body handle this new emotion that runs deep? It does send new energy through all my systems and I have to/get to learn to manage it.