Balboa

At the I Can Do It! event in Vancouver I learned that Hay House has a publishing company named Balboa. I met a spirit guide named Balboa years ago.  Here is what I wrote about him.  I even have an image of him and when I publish my book perhaps I will include it.

In that magical hour

Between dark and dawn

A face appears

With round ball of a nose

And the name Balboa

Urging me

to drink grapefruit juice

Eat beets and spinach

Close my office door

            To relax mid-day

How amusing!

A whole health spirit guide!

                                    2/1998

I emailed Jean Houston when I returned from the Vancouver event telling her that I was writing my story, Earth Angel ~ Lover of Gaia, and that I was going to use the Circle of Life

structure to organize it. Nothing else moved until yesterdayday when like magic the four directions on that Circle filled in with titles: 

East/Sunrise - Overdose to Angel

South/Noon - Kundalini / Salamander to Dragon

West/Sunset - Language of the Sacred Feminine

North/Midnight - Earth Angel ~ Lover of Gaia. 

Now I have a structure to fill in with 41 years of poetry, dreams, images, visions, prose, and blogs.  How the heck to do that so people will be interested?

I've been thinking about my next fun adventure.  Would I go to Peru with Gregg Braden; Findhorn with Carolyn Myss; Greece with Jean Houston?  I received an email  from Carolyn Myss announcing a 2 week writing workshop cruise to the Pacific Islands and Australia featuring herself and Hay House staff.  I want to attend and learn how to write and publish my book.  It's a stretch for me in all respects but I am aware of the line running North to South and "Balboa."  Because it feels right my resistance recedes.  More than once I've heard that funeral tune hummed by Jean Houston assisting me in putting that negative, insecure voice to rest.  And more than once I've thought about about Louise Hay and Wayne Dyer and their ever positive affirmations.  I can do this!

It's this writing workshop opportunity that is opening the door for a new cycle of "achievement."  Ideas for my book are coming into consciousness.  I now have a focus and new work to do!  If the book writing continues as a flow with it's own rhythms it won't be work but a creative co-operative experience with that force that moves me. It's a force that I lean into somehow; a force that upholds me, moves me.  Can I create and achieve something external by Being this way?  The outcome is not the point.  The point is the creative process.

I have planted many seeds over the years--so many ideas bubbling up with enthusiasm--and most of them never sprouted.  Does that make me a failure or unsuccessful?   No! Why?  Because of the relationship behind it all; underneath it all; above it all; around it all.  It's this relationship with something larger than myself that gives me a sense of contentment and in that knowing is success.