Porous

For 38 years I've been writing poetry, journaling, blogging about my visions, dreams, insights, revelations in non-linear dimensions. I call this "Langauge of the Sacred Feminine." Here's my most recent "inside out" experience.

I am porous
Air, Water, Earth, Fire
Circulating, Sustaining, Re-generating
Saturated to capacity
I turn round
In elemental momentum
Motion of e-motion
Dance of one, dance of many
In Cosmic womb, Milky Way song
Solar System dance
I am Mother Nature child
A Planetary Citizen

Tension between Parts

Cathy, I appreciate your skills and talents and all the work you have done to build SCALLOPS. And I do feel a heart connection with you. I would like to explain in a more logical way why I used the words “fear based.”

Your first email to the entire list of attendees stated this:
We had SUCH an incredible Spring Forward with SCALLOPS event on Saturday with 50+ people representing perhaps 25 communities. I am going to take a little time today to download photos and summarize what I learned from the day, but for starters just let me say it was the most diverse, joyful, well-organized, and well-attended SCALLOPS gathering I have ever been to! Thank you Trish and crew.
Since people who are enthusiastic followers of Zeitgeist seem to be showing up at (and offering to manage or publicize etc.) our events recently (there were 4 at the Spring Forward meeting), I think it is important to read this background article on their philosophy.
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/03/17/nyregion/17zeitgeist.html?_r=1
As Spring Forward showed, we have the capacity and the power to Spring Forward with many groups and philosophies, including Zeitgeist, Occupy, Bridge, Powerdown, and particularly, Transition.
Cathy


Your next email to a few of us stated this:
Before we send out a list of attendees I'd ask the whole list
1) if they want to opt in or out
2) be really clear that we are not sharing the list in order to allow everyone to share their pet projects. Unlike previous SCALLOPS gatherings, there were a number of folks with "agendas". People running for Congress, starting movements (Zeitgeist, Chataqua), offering services (Bridge, Snohomish Diamonds, Solarize Edmonds Sun Slices, Bees), and even you Dave with your Eastside time bank. (I just noticed all of them are men, interesting)


The first communication felt inclusive and positive; the second exclusive and fear based because of your concern about new people/outsiders. As I mentioned in a previous email I felt like each one brought their “story” of passion and action. Your language sounds and feels to me like a lack of trust. For any event, circle or system to be open and fluid there must be trust so that heart energy can flow between the parts.

Regardikng agendas as one of the lead coordinators of this event I had to manage people’s agendas, people who wanted more time and physical space to promote their programs/projects. Because we wanted everyone (yes, we saw SCALLOPS as one part of that whole) to have a voice we had a strict schedule and a timekeeper. Cathy I told you several times that you had 30 minutes for your initial introduction—much more time than the others. At the event I told you again. Does this not show that you too had an agenda or story and does your language not show that you too have a philosophy?

We are learning to build new systems that are self-organizing and free-flowing. These systems are energetic and electromagnetic bringing people together naturally, organically. Let’s welcome people into communion of heart and soul, honest communication and a new positive experience of community. This happens beyond territorial identities (space based) and divisive (me vs. you) language. This happens when we value communion of heart and soul express honest communication and create positive community.

I did not take notes at the event as that is not my skill or strength. I listen to a different language…the language of the heart. For 38 years I’ve been writing poetry and journaling about this "Language of the Sacred Feminine." It’s a language mystical and transcendent. After many years of being in the womb of this creative process I am now disclosing myself and speaking openly. In so doing there are consequences and I let that be in trust and positive orientation that I see as Love.

Trish

Self-Organizing Systems and Fairies

Months ago I felt a block with someone at the core of SCALLOPS. We were emailing smoothly but after I met her in person the flow stopped and the connection went cold. Recently I’ve been working with this core group and am now aware of how differently I see and work in community. I’m like an open door trusting each part to contribute what is right for them so that communication from each part and between the parts is open and free flowing. I don’t put out rules and regulations to block energetic expression from people nor do others in our Transition Woodinville system. Thus TW is self-organizing—the only way to be sustainable. Self-organizing is organic and natural creating a porous network of working parts.

I see that I’m using the terms wet, dry, cold and that these words (parts) in my language (whole) are telling a story. I let them move through me because I am porous – receptive! Here’s that “wrapping around” dynamic. I sense this has to do with alchemy—the mystical process of turning lead (Matter) into gold (Light). This mystical process is Light moving through Matter expressing its inherent porous/self-organizing Nature.

Wet/dry have to do with atmosphere, temperature, climate. All systems are adjusting at this level of downloaded energy.

I am pulled to attend the Fairy Congress to spend time with RJ Stewart, David Spangler and Brook Medicine Eagle, Skeeter, old friends as well as the community at large. Skalitude is a land of enchantment and the music, dance, conversation, play, workshops celebrate just that spirit.

I have submitted my workshop proposal that includes:

Why: To tap into inner creativity and let it flow through memory, imagination, senses, right and left brain, nerves, and muscles into colorful words and art that create a Fairy Mandala.

Community: By posting fairy mandalas (via individual permission) for community viewing the larger Fairy Congress can see what the fairies are saying through each mapping participant. This collective and transcending art experience enhances the language of the Fairies and demonstrates in a direct way how each individual is a channel of expression for the Fairy realm and their very own Fairy Nature.

Doors of Community

Another quantum leap; another break through; another door opened.

I attended a Woodinville Chamber luncheon to hear our friend Mike Tanksley debate on the urban growth boundary with someone advocating for it to be changed so the city can annex properties in our agricultural valley within that boundary. At the end of the event I was surprised when Brenda from 21 Acres announced to the audience that Transition Woodinville was partnering with them on an Earth Day event and that I was offering an indigenous ceremony. My surprise was that this was not my “agenda.” That response and feedback was directly from the community. This opens up linkage with a larger community. It’s time! Change is from the community, from the ground up, around and out into expression.

I continue to carry a spark of enthusiasm for the Happiness Initiative. Lately I’ve wanted to introduce it to the economic development committee. The new mayor was at the luncheon so I approached him. He remembered me from city council meetings and my two talks about the Happiness Initiative. He was very open and honest with me saying that many on the council didn’t see how this topic related to city business. I asked if they had an economic development committee and that this initiative has a direct role in that process. He said that he understood and was supportive. He asked that I send him a summary for the economic development committee of which he is a member. He named a couple of other people he thought would also be supportive.

In 2013 the City of Woodinville is going to have its Woodinville Celebration event in the fall rather than the spring as it’s been doing for 19 years. I would like this event to showcase the results of a Woodinville Happiness Survey. So we need to “roll this out” (a term I’m using a lot right now) in a few months meaning we need to get buy in and the survey in place so we can have results at our 2013 citywide event. I notice that I am using “we” instead of “I”…I am doing this work with community.

Which reminds me: at one point yesterday I wondered why I was jumping into new projects when the last one wasn’t even dry. Didn’t I need a vacation? Vacation for me is living alone away from community. Vacation for me is going out for meals alone or with friends, family. Vacation is part of my daily experience. However, I am seeing myself at a favorite spa and retreat center.

Yesterday I was driving home from the Chamber luncheon and saw what looked like a naked woman with a blanket around her walking down the street. I saw that she was walking toward the coffee shop that has had protests regarding the scantily clad baristas.

Dream: I was walking naked outside my house and walking back in…again and again. I saw myself doing this in the dream and notices that I had no self-consciousness in shame or guilt. I noticed that men were gathering outside my door. I was surprised when one man walked in and faced me. I wondered how he got in as it was locked. He wore essence of white. Other men came in. I was not afraid of them nor was I self-conscious. They all left. This does relate to my food issues that continue to dissolve.

That was one freeing dream! No shame or guilt about my life-long body issues. No fear of men around me. Quantum leap, break through, open doors at a whole different level. No, make that at a different level of one whole. Thank you! I always say “thank you” to the powers that BE because I live and breathe in a mysterious and wonderful womb.

Grounding Masculine & Feminine

To see what was hidden
Is to unlock a secret code

To wrap what was behind
with what is in front
is to break hypnotic spell

I’ve been working very diligently to close unconscious space around my compulsive eating patterns but I have not been able to overcome them; wrap around them. I have wondered if I was a puppet on a string with an outside force holding me back. I now feel /think that this breaking of new ground will free me from past unconscious patterns. I notice that I am already seeing myself as a new person who can make healthy and balanced choices on an even more consistent basis. I had been thinking about doing hypnosis…but this connecting of opposites might be just that process.

Time will tell. Time is evolution. Time is changing matter in relationship to changing light. Time is bringing the dark into the light and the light into the dark reminding me of the Mayan calendar, 2012 and this month of Sacred Spring.

Cold-bloodedness is warmed and nourished when meeting face to face, talking heart to heart, hugging body to body, seeing eye to eye. This diet of linkage and connection is liberating for one and for all and has an effect on our collective alchemical DNA.

I met with Fairy Congress friend Jan last week to share my Circle of Life booklet and project and to ask if there was a place for it at the summer event. Yesterday he emailed asking for a workshop proposal for the children. It would be fun to invite the children to map their relationship with Fairies. A wonderful opportunity to use imagination, dreams, and life encounters to create a fairy mandala. I am seeing these posted on a board for others to enjoy. Circle of Life is a way to listen and pull up Feminine creativity and then express it/push it through Masculine action. This push/pull co-operation moves all things forward in time

This is a new dimension of push and pull through masculine and feminine channels. The old way was from lack and imbalance pushing and pulling to get something to fill in a void. The old way created wobble rather that harmony.

I am giving a Transition Woodinville power point presentation at a Rotary club in April. I’ve resisted power point but it definitely helps me ground in detail and not be so emotional. I am appreciating my masculine side these days that grounds me. I want to build this “muscle” even more. However, too much masculinity is dry and too much femininity is wet. I guess the balance is in the weaving of the two.

I am learning about being grounded from two men I know. Viewing video from the SCALLOPS event I noticed how grounded and articulate Dana was in his introduction. I noticed how high-pitched and flighty I was. And as I was listening to Paul Wagner flute music I noticed how his voice/tone in one song grounds me….slows me down. I will continue to watch and listen for those masculine signals around me so that I can learn more about my masculine within. Is this another learning curve? No doubt!

Cold Blooded

Yesterday in my blog post I wrote “human eye” in telling the second dream. Was this a mistake? What is the “correct” word? If not human would it be “reptilian eye” representing that part of brain behind my head? And then I remembered an important piece from the dream! That being who came in with black cloak and solid kiss told me, “You are cold blooded!” So, now I’m thinking about my brain/our brain and asking if it was tampered with in some way so that the human species would become machine like and more easily controlled by an outside force. If this is the case our alignment in 2012 has new meaning. It’s as if we reclaim our true identity….as elemental! We are one with Earth’s Nature and not one with an outside mechanical and technical war lord.

There was an experience of re-connection with Dana after interacting and conversing at the SCALLOPS Spring Forward event. Once again I found myself wrapping and wrapped around him. This time I sensed and saw the image of that double helix that also wraps around. DNA is speaking collectively. My DNA is speaking specifically: I feel safe with this man. Wrapping around is an open and receptive position. I suspect male also wraps around in similar way since Feminine is found in both male and female.

Dana, I am emailing this to you and bringing you in at this point of storytelling blog process. I connect two diverse wires and pathways by bringing the subtle and unseen into the gross and seen. I do this through language and communication….without expectation from you. I know you to follow your inner guidance. I trust you. I share more openly and directly so that we continue in planetary and galactic 2012 alignment.

Wrapping Around

Our SCALLOPS Spring Forward event was more successful than I could have imagined. Of course I didn’t image any outcome nor did I have any expectations. Such thinking is limiting since there is a much larger intelligence at play to which I plug in watching and listening. I stay in the moment building and sustaining positive connections, coordinating the parts and organizing the whole. If I hit a block I deal with it through my spectrum of emotion and then move on accepting the consequences. This event planning and implementing was very positive from beginning to end without any blocks. I had a team of parts who were self-sufficient and it was such a relief! Their contribution to the event was significant. Yes, there were glitches but the spirit of the event was solid which means there were no breaks in personal connections. This new team is called Eastside SCALLOPS and includes members of Sustainable Redmond, Bothell, Mercer Island and Issaquah with Redmond and Bothell shining the brightest…contributing and working the most. Thank you! Our next event will be International Day of Peace in September.

Richard posted on Transition Woodinville’s facebook page that Dana’s music at the event set the tone for the day. Dana felt grounded, solid and tree like…even brown with bark! Maybe it was his tan after being in Hawaii for several weeks. Dana and I have worked together over many years and he has taught me to be detached emotionally. This has not been easy due to my feelings for him. However, my feminine emotions have matured with the support of my male logic. I move away and move back in with ease now. I am not pulling on him which creates open and free space. Nor is he pulling on me. After this event I had much to process with him and talk about revealing new ease and flow between us. This shift brought that old sensation of being wrapped around him and the image associated is the double helix ladder which indicates to me that we change and evolve through communication and language.

Language of Black

Communication moves in diverse ways and waves through visions, dreams, senses, thoughts, feelings, language. To me it feels like light moving through matter; like threads through eyes of needles. This whole vibrational spectrum is communicating with and within itself. I see serpent swallowing its own tail creating circle.

Dream: I open a door to a man I know. His face North. A huge ferocious black dog is with him and tries to get through to attack me. Dog is South. I thought the black dog represented some work he is doing. I realized later that it represents the sexual interest he has toward me. Though he has said that has changed his unspoken vibes and this dream tell me differently. The dog’s name is Lust and I feel like a piece of meat. This man is a dear friend and yet this dream language informs me...to be safe.

Dream: A man comes in and a black cloak with hood is around me. He moves from behind me, up my head and around my forehead to kiss me on the lips. The kiss extended and extended….very grounding. I think of kundalini serpent coming in from an opposite direction…from behind…from where one does not see with human eye.

What’s with “black”? It is unconscious mind and language! It is dark space hidden from view. It is accessed through portal points. It is cross roads to other dimensions. It is part of the sacred whole…sacred circle of life: Above, below, around and -- behind.

I just realized...I am working on an Earth Day ritual with a black man from Africa who has an intense presence. Another learning curve!!!

SCALLOPS Spring Forward Response

I am very happy to have received this response from Cathy Tuttle, one of the leaders of SCALLOPS (Sustainable Cities All Over Puget Sound).

On Mon, Mar 12, 2012 at 7:21 AM, Cathy Tuttle wrote:

We had SUCH an incredible Spring Forward with SCALLOPS event on Saturday with 50+ people representing perhaps 25 communities. I am going to take a little time today to download photos and summarize what I learned from the day, but for starters just let me say it was the most diverse, joyful, well-organized, and well-attended SCALLOPS gathering I have ever been to! Thank you Trish and crew.

Since people who are enthusiastic followers of Zeitgeist seem to be showing up at (and offering to manage or publicize etc.) our events recently (there were 4 at the Spring Forward meeting), I think it is important to read this background article on their philosophy.
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/03/17/nyregion/17zeitgeist.html?_r=1

As Spring Forward showed, we have the capacity and the power to Spring Forward with many groups and philosophies, including Zeitgeist, Occupy, Bridge, Powerdown, and particularly, Transition.

Cathy

Men = Nourishment

I feel happy and content as if I've had a good nutritious meal. Early this week a man invited me into his home to chat about potential projects. This man is like the open sky...he is "Sky." I sat comfortably with him chatting. Yesterday I sat with another man talking about the project I want to do at the Fairy Congress. Again I observed my high comfort level. This has not always been the case and I'm thanking my inner male for his presence and embrace. These new friendships with men feel nourishing and the effect is that I feel an increase of affection from my feminine side. What would this quality of love be called?

The title of this post indicates a polar shift in my experience!

Community DNA

Community is playing leap frog in quantum soup
I see it all around me
Leap after leap; link after link
Like dominoes one part effecting the next
A falling upward
Ladder like in double helix style
Networking in community changes our DNA

Two leaders of groups attending Saturday's SCALLOPS Spring Forward event asked if we had WI-FI at the Grange. No, which means more face to face interration like the quote, "Who you are speaks so loudly I cannot hear what you say." Sustainability is not supported by technology...it's supported by genuine connection through our sensorial Nature.

Hand of Goddess

“I choose who I spend time with” was a statement I wrote a couple days ago. It has stayed with me on the surface and has not dissolved in the alchemical soup of consciousness. I listen to what it has to say. It informs me that “I” do not choose and that there is a substance in between orbs that informs through transmission and reception (living breathing substance of fire dragon!). Here is true intelligence that one plugs into. This “knowing” is substance that one’s ego personality and brain-body is connected to and works with or not.

“Galaxy glue” keeps individual orbs buoyant and connected at micro and macro levels from cells to planets and stars. When there is disruption and collapse due to the lack of nourishing elements change occurs. It’s like throwing a ball of yarn and weaving a tapestry. When threads are weak or non-existent the whole fabric makes adjustments. This glue works with anchors and portals that ground energy in and through matter. Water, air, earth, fire serve in this way held in Her Nature.

I look at my pattern of “locking horns” with people in my life. Will I get to a place where I stop doing this? It’s not up to me and it doesn’t revolve around being spiritual and loving. It’s up to the elements and the alchemical soup in that momentary circumstance. The “glue” holds the karmic record and knows the laws that are working out. I trust this in-between substance that holds the parts together. I trust this substance that holds me and keeps me moving round and spiraling.

I am at the hand of Goddess. It is up to Her weaving and creating. Concepts, opinions, judgments in the outer world and inner world of conditioned ego are not an option. I plug in and ride the waves of the creative process. I am student and teacher. I listen and I speak. And in so doing I make waves of change within myself and around me.

Some relationships are disintegrating. Others are coming together. The ones unifying are creating larger networks and systems. It’s now survival of the united. This is a whole new cycle in my life. It's less work on my part as others take initiative and act. I support the whole.

Shape Shifting Hand

what hand turns the kaleidoscope of my days?
shape shifting hand turning mood
color to color, pattern to pattern
magical display of revolving sets

charging me with the task
of acting within them all

what hand plays the music of my nights?
taking me dancing through dreamtime
bringing me back
with riddles and magical codes
playing tricks with reality

written January 1994