Wings of Love

More is coming up regarding the years I opened my heart, mind and body to Tracker. The sexual energy he ran my way replayed the energy in my childhood and adolescence. No, my father did not molest any of his children. He did act out inappropriately with women and was unavailable emotionally. He was also a man who liked people, had a great sense of humor, worked hard and volunteered a lot. I remember going to drive-in movies with my parents where we'd watch violent and sexual movies (mild then compared to movies now) when I was young. I was sensitive to this lower chakra energy and thought this arousal of feeling in body was love.

If I had been told as a young girl that I am a whole person with male logic and female emotion I would have had a very different life. If young girls and boys were told this today they would be having a different experience. As it is boys and girls/men and women seek externals to make themselves whole. Each person is whole and holy. We remember and express our divinity going forth in higher vibratory love.

More Tracker story to tell in the process of elimination of deep wounds in my psyche that I am responsible for. As an adult I am responsible for what I let in and what I let out. Emotional eating...digesting...and elimnation is unconscious as a child but changes as one grows up. As I become conscious of patterns that are out of alignment with my highest Self I adjust and change. Truth telling from one's depth is part of the process. Those afraid, resistant or simply not ready in this lifetime do not change. Thankfully there are many of us on the planet ready and willing to do this work to one degree or another. All this light filtering darkn of matter is having significant effect in this realm/reality.

Years ago Tracker knew where I was and when because of email hacking. I remember the first time he followed me camping. It was at this time I suspected that he had a tracking device on my car...treating me like one of his wolves. It felt intrusive but I liked the attention. And it was erotic with a lot of sexual fire. Without grounding in this realm the "games" -- I don't know what else to call them -- of telepathic relating became very old and boring. His marriage was a wake up call. I didn't want anymore telepathic fire. I wanted something real in this realm.

Today, years later, I sometimes pick up his signal as I drive my car. It's not as intense and frequent as it used to be. He continues to come around/stalk and harrass me with his sexual fire. That fire now hits my body but it does not move through or ignite any other part of my system. Why? Because I have no feelings, no attraction to this man. Because of this his "hits" feel toxic which is how I know his signal. My response now is to smile in knowing that my vibratory space is not in the same place it was years ago. His choice to assault with toxins is his karma and plays out sooner AND later.

It may be too early to say but I'm feeling a new connection between my brain, mouth and stomach. Reminds me of "muscle testing" as I scan the food I want to eat to see if it's going to balance my system. It's an energetic connection. Does that mean that choosing foods has a new feedback loop? More automatic and natural and less stuck? Has some stagnation cleared? It's also as if I'm absorbing food again with blockage released. I'm not afraid of this healing and clearing process and am grateful for the space I have in which to do this.

I love permaculture! Blessings to Bill Mollison, David Holmgren and all other permaculture teachers who are serving as acuptuncture needles in the healing of Mother Earth. I love knowing that zone 5 is where the land is left natural -- for Nature Spirits. I mentioned this in class yesterday not sure of the response I would get. A teacher acknowledged with, "Yes, for faeries and pixies..." I'm so glad to know that there is a place for these spiritual relations--those with whom I relate. There is hope for the healing of our beloved Earth Mother.

I tell my story not in retaliation or anger. I tell my story through Love that moves through me like filtered Light. I speak my Truth so that it can reverberate through my own system and loosen deeper matter that needs to be released for the healing of the whole. Here/now I extend a huge circular embrace to this human family in whose head, heart, hands and wings is the future of this beloved home and Mother Ship.

One Whole Support System

I was answering questions from my nutritional team at Bastyr Clinic and talking about emotional issues. At one point I felt emotional waves rising up through my body producing mild tears. The wave rose and moved a second time. I mentioned it in both moments. I noticed that neither my acupuncture team nor my Chinese medicine team responded to this reference as if they didn’t know how to integrate emotions into their healing modality.

How old is Chinese medicine? 5000 years? This makes me wonder if feminine emotions have ever been integrated in dense matter of planet Earth. I had thought perhaps our DNA and brain had been manipulated and tampered with by outside forces but perhaps the human species has never evolved emotionally. Could it be that we are doing this work for the first time and in so doing we change the course of life throughout the whole universe? And yet Earth is much older than 5000 years…so what is the truth around emotional intelligence/expression/wellness/balance?

Years ago I had a couple sessions with an Aware Eating coach. It was very intense as I got in touch with emotional waves of rage I felt toward my dad. I learned to take this rage out on pillows and to scream. Now I notice that emotional waves rising up do not carry that rage and in fact I mentioned my mom and dad with love and forgiveness to my team yesterday. I think this love is what triggered the emotion yesterday.

The other day I was resting and felt a new sensation in my body. I felt a “shelf” of support in my upper body in support of my new relationship with food. It was support that gave me a “brace” to hold myself upright instead of collapsing into old patterns. It was new “muscle” and now new “memory.” The image that now comes through is a NE/SW line. A brace to help with balance and equilibrium!

My car and now my house smells like an herb store supporting the “brace” pattern. However, I’m also aware that my body may not respond well to the herbs. I will make the concoction tomorrow as today I’m taking a permaculture class – in the snow. The class is taught by someone I knew from WAS years ago and after many years I am now reconnecting.

The last time I took a class in the snow was on a New Year’s day making a bow (as in bow and arrow) with a man from Australia. It was the time I was involved in the bizarre relationship with Tracker who was relating to me/stalking that day from a tree top in the backyard. How do I know? I felt his presence vibrationally and the birds and the man’s dog alluded to someone being in the tree. At one point the teacher commented aloud about someone being in the tree. I protected Tracker at that time…I enabled him thinking that our relationship was evolving and that at some point he would relate to me face to face. I was giving him time. That time ran out and I changed. He has not changed and continues to stalk and harrass me.

I have more to say about Tracker today. It must be part of my emotional healing. It’s risky telling these stories because they are so bizarre. However, I stand up and speak out like women in Libya who have been under the thumb of a dictator, a controller. It’s time for women to uphold their emotional stories so that new stories are born and unfold.

At one time during a session Tracker was teaching a man approached me and was being quite flirtatious. Tracker immediately called him away from me. I noticed Tracker doing this at other times as if he didn’t want any other man in my space. Is this alpha wolf behavior? I really have no comprehension of the attempted manipulation and control this man puts out into his world.

I don’t have internet at my house because of Tracker. He hacked into my home computer and damaged it. Now I go to the library and coffee shop which is very unprotected. Years ago when I volunteered at his school’s office I knew that he was reading my emails as well as those going through the office. I knew intuitively without “hard evidence.” Again, at that time I liked his attention thinking it meant we were in an evolving relationship. I also knew that Tracker had been kicked out of the local school because of his inappropriate relationship with a teenage student. Tracker had to watch his steps so he spied on his own community.

This is the emotional dysfunction that was part of my introduction to wilderness survival. It is a strange story that I must tell. Black magic and dark wizards exist in sheep’s clothing. As I reconnect today with people associated with survival classes and skills I wear protective armor and swords of Truth that are held / and \. This scaffolding and bracing of X gives me my foundation in Love and Truth. I go forth as a catalyst for change within myself, in my world, in my universe.

Whew! That was a lot to release…but it came up from the depths of the depths and I will not ignore what She has to say. In fact I speak Her voice! Sacred Feminine lives on Earth through hearts, minds and bodies of human beings. I have no idea how his behavior has escalated since then...I do know my own experience and I will not be silent. I speak through intuition and logic.

I have learned from Bastyr sessions that my digestive and elimination systems are healthy. My weakness is cravings and unconscious eating patterns. I’m now going to ask for an acupuncture treatment to support my circulation system. I like working with a health team where I can be part of the decision making—where I can be a conscious participant in my own medicine and healing. That consciousness includes underground layers of subconscious and unconscious. Let the healing continue without hesitation or resistance!

Dragon Eye

Powerful acupuncture today. Had to sleep and I'm still light headed. Will try chinese herbs next to balance my "deficient" system. I was told by the nutrition team that my diet is healthier than most people they see. I appreciate this positive reinforcement. I keep moving forward.

For quite some time I've thought about enlightened humans (for me that means when positive energy flows from heart, mind, body) as needles with eyes through which enery penetrates matter. Seems all the "chakras" are eyes through which energy flows as one system. Reminds me of Dragon Lines. Eyes of Universal Dragon.

Sacred Sites are Earth portals through which energy flows.

We emit energy and feel the effects as stagnation passes away. The poison has to release and move out. Planetary acupuncture is a healing art. It is Dragon Eye that keeps us moving onward and upward.

Reweaving of Shame

What is going on? What is all this intensity? Is the planet moving through some dark vortex that is putting pressure on the individual and the collective body? Why does the price of concert/dance tickets and the time create such a fuss at a committee meeting? At one point I asked one woman who was complaining if she wanted to be dismissed from the committee. The meeting felt like a battle. So strange for five of us who are on the same “team” to be so divisive.

Working in community can be messy and I see that I’ve developed protective armor. All my life I’ve been sensitive to those in my environment and have not wanted to make waves. That has changed over the years. I no longer hide in my shell and I will stand up to anyone when I need to. I am not mean spirited, however. At least I don’t feel that I am. Others do come across that way—coming from ego and making themselves look large rather than coming from heart of kindness/gentleness. Two opposite vibrations.

I watched how I handled the turmoil and what even felt like aggression at times. I did not crawl into a shell but resided in a place of thought beyond thought and feeling beyond feeling. It must be a vibratory space at my center core. I never crashed into feeling bad about myself and continue to hold my head up high.

As I was brushing my teeth this morning these gentle words rose up into consciousness, “I didn’t do anything wrong.” Bingo! What a key those words are. As a child I was different in my learning style, slower and I’d get that look or tone of voice of parental disapproval. I felt shame at a very young age. At my age, here and now, it brings up emotional waves and tears. At my age I continue to heal childhood brain/body patterns!

I am still bouncing off walls around food issues. I even out and then fall back into old patterns that now give me hives on my neck. It’s quite a test in finding equilibrium and maintaining it. Had acupuncture last week and will go again tomorrow if I'm not snowed in. They put needles down both sides of my spine and in both ears. Acupuncture is like a very deep breath for my whole being. I love it!

Chinese medicine says cooked foods are easier to digest. So what about the raw food craze? Can I listen to my body and trust what it tells me to eat. Sometimes yes…other times no. I see that my food issues are rooted in shame and I am wrapping around those roots in self-love via spiritual consciousness that resides at my core. I am more than my body, my mind, my emotions. I am Spirit -- that sweet stable source of Truth and Love.

Had an intense dream about someone I care about. I was with him and felt his body. Very nourishing and real in some reality. Wires that crossed are uncrossing. Wires uncrossed are crossing. A major re-weaving in our Brilliant and Beloved Universe. I observe without attachment…from Eye of Center.

Transition Leap Quantum Style

At our Transiton social meeting with the first and second discussion groups it became clear that the two groups wanted to be in discussion together. I had thought it would be redundant for the first group but learned that they want to participate feeling that Transition information/inspiration is never ending. The second group wants the TW "elders" to be involved in their discussion process/experience.

At the meeting someone kept asking about projects and I kept reinforcing that what unfolds is up to the passions of the individual parts. I talkde about quantum physics and that we create our TW reality. I asked her directly what she wanted to contribute. She wants to teach a class in Food as Medicine. Okay we have a venue for her. Another woman wants to offer a permaculture experience. We had an idea for that.

And then the whole energetic and conversation shifted. People want to do projects with each other on each other's property! So the parts open up to each other's personal space in trust and welcome and the whole becomes more unified. I was amazed by this "creative genius of community." A quantum leap for sure!

I received an email of thanks from Rob Hopkins in response to a photo I had sent. I appreciate this completion of circuitry that in my experience doesn't always happen/ground in this realm.

Bee Pollen

Went to Transition Snoqualmie Valley's Seed Saver event. When I arrived I hugged a few people -- cheek to cheek. I seem to need to give/receive this skin to skin contact.

A beekeeper spoke and I felt that "taproot" grounding me -- it's a feeling of being very present and large. I approached him after his talk asking for his contact info as Transition Woodinville is looking for someone to advise about our bee hive project. When we chatted he mentioned "shamanic" beekeeping. Our eyes met with a twinkle and I cheerily suggested that we "spread that medicine."

I think the skin to skin touching has to do with "pollination."

Pyramid Power Grid

Thank God/dess for young men who love their Motherland Egypt enough to revolt for change. This quality of love is evolutionary as well as revolutionary. Here in the NW we have our own pyramid.

Power Point

Transition Woodinville is holding a March meeting at the local library as part of Transition Snoqualmie Valley’s library series. TSV is using power point to educate and inspire. I have never been interested in giving power point presentations. I prefer eye to eye contact and the emotional/spiritual energy that can generate via audience attention and response. Someone in the new TW group is interested in creating the power point – hooray! To balance this some TW members will speak about their role in the community and what Transition means to them and someone will talk about worldwide Transition initiatives. We’ll open the whole space up for discussion. This feels round and balanced.

Androgyny holds two inner “power points”: male and female. When they are in synch harmony, balance and health is manifested. I have some experience of this unified and whole connection and my capacity grows.

Androgyny dynamics expand when an external “power point” comes into play. When spatial alignment happens all systems light up in response and harmony, balance, health is manifested. There is a point, a purpose, to this connection in Light: Evolution of Matter/En-lightenment. What is true for humans is true for planets and stars. Constellation of Light is present and evolving.

When one part of the whole violates the space of another part there is disharmony, distrust and turbulence. These parts range from cells to planets. This violation can happen at psychic, emotional, mental and physical levels. What do victims do about such violation? They march on the streets in protest, name the source of abuse and work to change/enlighten the larger system. When a critical mass has the courage to stand up and speak out there is change at micro and macro levels.

Infusing these levels is feary dust that unifies and creates ONE whole. Do you feel it? Hear it? Breathe it? Express it? Violation and violence cannot live in this harmonic space -- it will be booted out.

Exorcism

On Friday naturopath recommended rosemary tincture twice a day and salmon twice a week. Saturday at a social gathering I lost that groove I had found and overate as if I was that 3rd grader “Fatty Patty”. Sunday I didn’t eat sweets but was off center and ate strange food combinations. Sunday night I went through a dark night of hell. My digestive system was in an uproar. In the middle of night I thought it would help if I would just vomit….sometime later I did. As a child vomiting with the flu was an uncomfortable experience. Now I was relaxed as I let my body move with these muscles that move matter and fluids in the opposite directions. It was actually a peaceful process of letting…the same as the elimination from the opposite end of body. I let my body do what it needed to do without shame or guilt.

In the midst of this turmoil I looked and saw a whitish skull filling in the SE and Darth Vader character with black cape above. Two legged Tracker of this realm was also transmitting his sexual vibes into my space (after 10 years he communicates in the same way!) Several days ago I was at the coffee shop and my computer started to act strange reminding me of the hacking that Tracker has done for years. So, I emailed him directly saying that the universe was watching him and he reaps what he sows. “Grow up,” I said. He acts out when I communicate directly and his presence this night was an obstinate stance. I am working at growing up and out of old behavior patterns…others refuse. Tracker is a wizard of darkness and pulls strings in this realm…where he can. I see that it’s his strings that are being pulled…by dark forces. I continue to work with dark forces within myself in my orbit. Yes, I'd like to eject them all but this is a process of finding balance in light and love. It's called the Aquarian Age.

Days later, Wednesday, I am on the other side with both feet on the ground. Some of us are willing to hit the walls and go through the dark hell. Not everyone has to do this. We do this as Warriors of Light.

I am not alone in this process and am very happy about that.

A Groove

I'm in a groove that looks like this: V. It represents capacity beyond choice that includes conscious, subconscious and unconscious psyche. All these parts have to be in synch if I am to take action. It's a level beyond personality but not personal responsibility.

This new capacity means that I cannot behave in ways that I used to. This capacity brings change. I'm just now starting to receive these "new" unified transmissions through my collective systems of spirit, psyche, emotion, mind, body. Of course everything in my life is always about newness because my life has been an evolving process toward Light and Dark balance. Not one over the other...but one with the other. A new concept in the dramas that have played out on Mother Earth. It's time for Her children to grow up and find new ways of relating in a new culture.

Egypt uprising is an example of this change in our collective body. Each part wants to express it's inherent design: to contribute to the whole.

The collective groove looks like this with the lines connecting SW/NE & SE/NW:

X
X
X
X

Representing a network, kundalini serpent, ley lines, taproot, cosmic lines of force.

I'm reading Permaculture in a Nutshell by Patrick Whitefield. "Permaculture is a process of looking at the whole, seeing what the connections are between the different parts, and assessing how those connections can be changed so that the place can work more harmoniously." This is exactly how I saw my valley coming together under Transition Woodinville. And how it will evolve meeting by meeting, event by event. The process is transformative as we learn how to relate, communicate in resilience. Our muscles are being stretched and our capacity expanded. This is good work!

Transition Culture

Transition lives up to its resilient nature through "imagination" -- which might be more real than humans realize. This cartoon strip will be fun!

Trish



'Starting on Monday: a new cartoon strip, 'The Intergalactic Heath & Safety
Inspectorate''

"We've just received a message from a rather unusual source - the
Intergalactic Health & Safety Executive. Apparently, two of their operatives,
Gort and Klaatu, will be visiting earth to check on humankind's progress
towards sensible stewardship of the planet. They've chosen Transition
Culture/Transition Network to be the conduit of their communications because we
rated highly in their "willingness to learn how to look after the planet
responsibly" survey. Perhaps it's best to hand over to them to explain their
project..."
-----------------------------------------

Best regards,
Rob

Happy Feet

My feet are happy today. They sing as I walk! So fun to be healthier.

I was invited to be on the Board for Slow Food Snoqualmie Valley. I accepted. This is how my life works. When something evolves within something of alignment evolves without. Inner/subtle frequency changes matter and one's life! Transition is another example as I was ready for supporting head, heart and hands.

Going to see a Naturopath at Bastyr. I seldom go to the doc other than acupuncture. However, I want a blood test to get a picture of what my body is doing. I continue to be amazed that I am not craving empty foods. I have so much more energy and at the same time I am centered. Yesterday I tuned in to my whole being and noticed "we" (all my parts) felt like a gyroscope as drawn via turtle in my Circle of Life ~ Mapping One's Story book. I felt upright and balanced = equilibrium, homeostasis = happy.

Optic Nerve

I have two sets of eyes. My etheric eyes are associated with Kundalini force, reptilian brain and my shamanic/mulit-dimension experiences. The other set are my physical eyes that are associated with the optic nerve. I wonder what nerve my etheric eyes are associated with.

I poisoned my system over the holidays with too much sugar...which was much less than my old standards. Now I have to refine even more. I had lunch at an Indian restaurant this week and my taste buds lit up in response to the cold vegetable salad and the mushrooms in a yummy dish. These foods simply stood out. Very new for me. I notice I have more energy and I am more centered when I eat healthy foods while I'm sitting down quietly. It's one thing to spout the health standard and another to live it. I am learning to live it! And my whole capacity is reaping the benefits.

I am grateful....as always.