Androgyny

My intuitive female and my analytical male are engaged and functioning. This inner marriage is causing change in my behavior patterns. One I especially notice is my relationships with men. I feel androgynous and not able to relate to men in ways that I used to. This is very freeing. Perhaps I have outgrown adolescent ways of relating. My inner male holds high standards and is very protective these days. I like that.

Re-Programming

I walked past a man sitting at a table. I then stopped to look at the organic produce. I felt that vibe in my lowest chakras and knew what was being transmitted: sexual energy toward me. For the first time I turned and looked directly at this man. I had not responded that way before. I thought I'd give him the "evil eye" but his eyes were glazed over and he wasn't even present. This behavior of being treated like a sexual object is not flattering. It is an insult to my intelligence.

Are men programmed to breed? Are women programmed to be bred? Is this programming done via hormones of brain function? Isn't it time for new programming? The old one is very boring and destructive. It's time to light up/fire up new pathways of intelligence and in so doing all relationships will be new.

On CNN I heard that the people of Egypt were having to "digest the changes." Interesting how the gut is associate with change. And I heard one news anchor say that the head was separated from the body. I say it's time for new head and new body to break through the walls of resistance via a new network of resilient brain patterns that emit higher frequency brain waves.

The whole system is being reprogrammed and nothing can stop it. Get in the groove or get out of the way...one way or another.

Chicken Smarts

The two women were talking about the intelligence of chickens and the size of their brains. One said that instinct was not intelligence. I started to comment but bit my tongue.

Instinct is a critical part of intelligence. Instinct is how a tree rises into the heavens and why a bud blossoms into flower. Instinct rises from my reptilian brain and why my shamanic experience is so very reptilian.

Humans are arrogant and ignorant to say that the modern brain is intelligent and the older brain is not. The two must become one.

Tap Root Awareness

I asked “What is a wall of resistance?" and this story opened before me:

As a young child I resisted letting go of sucking my thumb and carrying a “binky.” Grade school arrived and I was encouraged to let these old habits go. I resisted and hung on…until the pressure from within and without assisted me in this change of behavior.

As a young adult I was lost and in darkness. I was looking for love in all the wrong places. I hit a wall. I hit bottom. And I rose up and out with the support of Light Beings.

I have experienced two husbands. We loved each other and shared happy times. We also hit walls. When I outgrew (learning my lessons from these teachers) the relationships I moved on.

Currently I am hitting walls involving my love affair with sugar laden foods. This long term relationship pattern is in my brain, blood, nerves and muscles. It's in my cellular memory as a source of comfort from infancy. I hit walls of resistance when I try to let go of this habitual pattern. When I feel clean and clear I hit fear. What am I afraid of...the empty void and the unknown?

What is this dynamic of hitting a wall? What is the headache I get when I have to absorb more details? What is the fear I hit when I begin to let go of sugar and empty foods? I get that it’s a lack of brain networking via synapse, dendrite, etc. The wall is a block and empty space.

I am not craving sugar right now. Crisp apple slices in lime juice sprinkled with cinnamon is lighting me up. Organic red grapes give my mouth more satisfaction than an Almond Joy. Saurkraut is nourishing my whole system. My intent, once again, is to stay in this healthy place of balance. This requires a deep tap root awareness into unconscious and subconscious patterns as well as an over view of consciousness. All three levles of psyche must be in aligned relationship for healthy change.

I am in a new place spiritually, emotionally, mentally and physically. To do more work in this world I have to be sharper and more alert. Some previous habit patterns do not support this new capacity of responsibility. Thus I make these ongoing changes…happily and in gratitude.

Resilience Happens

So if my right brain orientation is hitting walls of my left brain I suspect that left brain orientated folks are hitting walls of their right brain. The pressure on this home planet is one and as one body we feel it and respond or react. How much resistance is destructive? How much is productive moving us forward in evolve?

I was wondering who would sponsor a Transition Rocks dance for Transition Earth Day UNLEASHING and someone walks in this coffee shop to chat about Grange business. I have gotten to know this couple and they want to sponsor the dance! Sometimes pieces fall into one's lap!

I am organizing Transition Woodinville in my style which is not the same as the neighboring Transition groups. I am connecting the dots and bringing the parts together into a whole to celebrate those who are exemplifying sustainability here now. This is an initial concentric ring and others will follow.

My favorite part of facilitating Transition Orientations is greeting people. I love this opportunity to embrace and welcome new faces and spirits. I hope to offer a third orientation in May after our UNLEASHING event.

Another miracle happened! The woman who was negative and confrontive has changed her tone and style of communicating. She is not attending city council meetings nor is she watching them on TV. Amazing! There are people in an organization I am involed with who have had "bad blood" for years. I can feel their rigidity and negativity. These people lack resilience of letting themselves and other be new in every moment. In my life change can happen in a split-second or in five years. One's sacred responsibility is to hold space for change...within and with others. This requires letting go of ego that is wrapped around mental mind. This requires letting Love and Truth ligth up one's path.

Mental Health

Capacity for Resilience requires a deep tap root into earth so that one doesn’t get knocked over by the winds of change that blow through moment by moment. These winds of change come from within and from others in one’s outer environment.

I see and hear others who are resistant to this idea, that action or person. I see and hear myself resistant when it comes to taking on more details in this linear world. I actually hit some sort of emotional, mental and physiological wall when I experience a learning curve and have to absorb more task oriented responsibilities.

Yesterday when this happened I was with someone who is a retired banker. He supports me in my role as Treasurer for the Grange. I have been under a lot of pressure lately (pressure that is not the same as that altered state) and was almost in tears when I learned of yet another task I had to do. He’s seen how I don’t handle this pressure well and yet I get over it/through it. Yesterday he put his hand on my shoulder which was a nice gesture of support and reminded me that I could do this. I felt at full capacity and got a headache in this process. Yet once I had my emotional melt down I was more receptive to hearing, absorbing and accepting the additional task/responsibility. So, in spite of my resistance I am learning and my capacity in increasing. This is a fascinating alchemical process. As I see it in myself I also I see it happening on a collective scale.

Capacity for Resilience also requires that the wires in one’s brain are not tangled or crossed. I am experiencing something that is a bit scary. I am checking out of this realm and skipping some important details in my day to day routine. I want to ascend and yet I have to descend to do all this work. It takes so much effort to ground at times. So I spell a name wrong on the reader board and I forget to sign a check…again. This is challenging for me. I have to have that tap root grounded in every moment and it’s a major learning curve. And that tap root has to be connected to my brain and it’s a major network overhaul!

Life gets increasingly busy as I get more engaged in my community. I have to draw healthy boundaries within and with others. There are tasks that the Grange wanted to give me which I refused to accept. And there are people who I choose not to be around. There are foods I can no longer eat on a daily basis. 2011 begins on a major learning curve!

I went to Fed Ex today to use their machines. I dread using machines that I don't know how to use. I dread learning curves! Right brained work is instantaneous because it's rooted in inspiration that rises up and moves through. And yet today I had new space...I was calm and collected. No doubt my melt down yesterday created new capacity in my whole system. So what is that process about? It reminds me of weather that is also alchemical.

My youngest daughter is pregnant and I will be gifted my third grandchild. She texted me and I opened to hear the heartbeat of this new soul! A very noisy nest! Later she texted me the image of the baby. I learned that one of the hospital nurses told the father, my son-in-law, who is Philippino, that there were a lot of people (spirits) around him and an association with a Hawaiian King. Now how amazing is that? At a local Tacoma hospital there is a spiritual reading for a baby in gestation. When I heard the heartbeat something deep happened in my heart and tears welled up. I welcome this soul into my personal family and this human family. May s/he have a safe journey through the birth canal and into this realm. Love is the capacity that welcomes this incarnating soul.

Eagle, Bee and Hawk

18 new faces at the second Transition Orientation. One of the young men said he had watched an Eagle near the meeting location that afternoon. We figured it was probably the same one I saw that morning. Eaglesong was one of the participants in the circle. She is a wise woman in the community already resonating with Transition. Eagle gave this new circle a warm welcome!

Walking to garden with wheel barrow in hands it was obvious that Earth emits fertile force. Humans take it for granted or their senses are shut down. As soon as I got to the garden I noticed a bee buzzing around me. I welcomed him/her. When I left the bee was on fabric in the wheel barrow so I took it home with me. Two hawks flying above. Felt like Spring today.

Enfoldment

No buzzing energy last night...finally a peaceful sleep.

For those men who want to relate to me telepathically: Stop! I am not an alien from another planet. I am matter, air, water, fire.

For those men who want to relate to me from a distance: Stop! I want the respect of eye to eye, voice to voice, heart to heart, and hand to hand contact.

This is a collective request as brain waves expand and energies lift in frequency.
If man cannot make this transition…get out of the way…you are blocking Light.
Do not take these words and regurgitate them to others. Take these words and absorb them as living matter, living air, living water, and living fire.



I hold parts of my future: Circle garden, small space for a farmer’s market, class on small farm business planning as well as the small farm. What is going to fill in these spaces that I hold with others?

My lavender lotion was perfuming the van as we drove to the entrepreneurial class. I love lavender! This morning I think about growing it and placing the handmade bee hives nearby in the SE. I also think about the PCC cooking class I attended and the herbs de provence. Women love lavender and herbs. Is this in my future? I get to create personal short term and long term goals in the class. I get to use my imagination in ways that ground me in my community. A new cycle begins and we move forward in Evol/lovE.

Weaving Points of Light

New territory is surreal and picking up pace. Can I keep up? Can we? Yes!
I knew something was up when we couldn’t find the TW meeting location and kept going in circles. I knew something was up when intense waves of tension rolled across the top of my shoulders driving to the meeting and driving home. As if I was being tracked.

Stillness before sleep brought image of blood, ax and my neck. Head of body was being threatened. Waters still I listened for response. A white whirling disc spun faster and faster absorbing this dark force that was acting out. Absorption is not destructive or hateful. Absorption sustains balance. The story of dark vs. light can end and a new one of dark with light begin. Boring to many; enticing to many more.

After our tension and conflict she walked into the meeting smiling at me and acting as if nothing happened. This pattern has happened with her before but on a smaller scale. I realize that she learned this behavior from attending hundreds of city council meetings and being involved in politics. Her antics are how many of our politicians behave! Unbelievable! Now I know the game and don't have to get caught up in it.

Something did shift between me and the group. The edges were gone. It may be because I held back my positive charge and listened more. I did take charge when two people were bickering about their different views on how to do something. I mentioned how this dialogue was a pattern in the group: one person feels/thinks one way another person another way. I made the point that if someone feels passionate about some activity that person should do that. The group accepted this respectfully and shifted the conversation identifying who would do what. We escaped gridlock!

An alien head has entered my “window” of awareness. I am suspicious of the source of the projection because I have experienced wizards in this realm using black magic and trickery and I have dealt with negative imposing forces from other realms. I will describe my experience and tell the stories. Ages ago I would have been stoned to death, burned at the stake or put in an asylum. Today anything could happen. I fear not.

The other night alien head came in as white shaped like a light bulb. I touched it on the top and in the back at the neck reminding me of touching the SE arc and applying pressure in that recent altered state. Last night it had large eyes (like a fly) and I looked straight into them. I had not seen any wings so I asked what its body looked like. I saw small arms/legs but it still seemed suspicious. I write to track story threads back to their pure source. I write to honor Truth that has been buried and hidden. I write to honor all life forms living in light and dark balance yesterday, today and tomorrow. This is reality.

Linear oriented humans are dreaming at very limited brainwave function. Integration is here now. I wonder at what that will continue to look like and what it will be called. What word can honor brain wave integration and head body integration? Holy,holy,holy?

I am driven to make TW connections. It's as if time is shortened to weave a network of light. I sometimes ask myself why the hurry? Why not take some time off? I simply cannot. Something very critical is at hand, in heart and head.

Personal Resilience

Rob Hopkins' article on Personal Resilience (transitionculture.org) was a beam of light into my dreary and grey world yesterday. The walls I had been hitting had taken a toll. My response was to give myself a lot of positive self-talk.

I have my own demons that control some eating patterns. Others have demons that manifest in their own unique ways. I feel it as heavy lethargy. In some areas of my life I move too fast for others; in other areas I don't do things the "efficient" way. This darkness could be confusing if I didn't have an inner compass and inner resilience.

When I saw that devil in a confined space Friday night I wondered if it was Tracker stalking again. Yesterday I felt his toxic vibe. He refuses to change his creepy ways. He is a scout and for eons scouts have tracked and spied on their enemies and neighbors to get information in support of their own survival. Why does he continue to relate to me this way? Can we not move beyond this mentality? It's disrespectful and illegal. Tracker reads my comments on the internet and spies to get information or some distorted sense of connection. He then takes the information back to his community where they think he has a bright mind. They in turn repeat his words. I hear my language from his community. This is not pure consciousness. This is phony.

Mainstream people are speaking a new language that reflects subconsious activity. I hear it on TV, radio and in the community. This is pure consciousness. This is genuine because it rose up from dark underground. Collective consciousness is manifesting spontaneously in alignment with something new and higher.

Fairy Dust

Friday night before sleep I see image of devil in a confined space with back against West wall and facing East. A closet? I wonder at this information. How to respond? I listen. A fairy wand appears and sprinkles fairy dust over and around this reddish devil. Perfect solution!

Imagination and images speak as subconscious language. Subconscious and conscious brain waves seem to be more transparent and less separate. And yet they also seem to be claiming individual territory. Sounds healthy!

Dreaming our Reality

Yes, new Eye and eyes open showing signs of new level of alertness.
Yes, wings of protection embrace us.
Yes, miracles manifest through the power of emotional friendships.
Yes, we heal through darkness.
Yes, positive change happens through negative circumstance.

Interesting news re shooter Jared Loughner's "obsession" with lucid dreaming and how this subconscious reality was where he could create things a fly. So, how can this subconscious realm create such pain and violence? Because there was no conscious receptor to balance him? Because drugs interfered? Because?

Are we all in a lucid dream state that was altered by extra-terrestials via DNA as presented on television's Ancient Aliens recently?

I see a green garden with faery folk living in peace and harmony tending to/supporting plant life and sustaining homeostasis. And then interference from outside forces intending to destroy Nature. Do opposite forces continue to do battle for footage? Will common ground, balance and peace be found?

I awoke and a friend crossed my mind. I reached out with an embrace....of angel wings! It was not my intention to communicate this way. It was not something I planned ahead. It simply manifested in the moment. This is the language of the Sacred Feminine as something enchanting rises up from the deep dark depths of psyche.

Inner and outer worlds continue to thin in transparency as dramas of this world reflect (like water) enchantment of another. This enormous responsibility brings up tears of humility. These are times of collective miracles.

A couple people in the TW team are questioning my process. Yes, I push the group by following my vision and intuition. Yes, I dive in! They want a more linear process...slowing things down. I have my own gears that I honor...homeostasis at play. One man thanked me for my work saying that if I wasn't doing this no one else would. And there are many more who are eager to engage and be creative. I notice it's the left-brain "political" types who want things to be more controlled so they can wrap their minds around it.

And the creative process continues to reveal itself as I meet with a group of women to plan Earth Day events in April. Someone from Slow Food reaches out asking for support. Do I hesitate? No way! Do I say I have to get permission from others? Not as I see it. I continue to charge ahead because this synergy is food for the soul of our collective body.

Window, Wings, Bees, Water

I awoke and thought to look for the window. It was not in focus as it was before. However, I stay open, receptive. I see two wings one East and one West of window. I skipp in Green Garden. I invite a friend (in this realm) to play and twirl with the song from grade school: Motor boat, motor boat go so slow, motor boat, motor boat, motor boat go so fast, motor boat, motor boat step on the gas. By facing one to one, using hands to grip, digging feet into earth and turning slow, faster and fastest one experiences the twirling tension of two. It’s so fun!

Then I wonder what to play next and again I stay open, receptive. I see bird’s eggs and wonder at how I am in space looking down at bird's eggs. As I write this I get that “wonder at” is not the same as “wonder about.” One is mystical/feminine/reflective the other mental/masculine/active. Then a buzzing pattern appears and I am round buzzing bee flying in air. I encourage my friend to fly. We are being told to exercise our wings. This is an instruction that will be needed in the future. So, imagine it...be childlike...use the imagination...exercise those muscles of brain.

She and I have constant tension. We are polar opposites. Recently she invited me to support her bee art project with hives made of wood and painted. Shortly after that I had the bee dream. At the last TW meeting I stated that I liked “Get Resilient” as a logo theme and someone else preferred “Be Resilient.” At that comment I saw image of bee and thought what a great theme/logo. I’m hoping the team will like the bee ideas as it would be a fun “signature” for TW here in the valley.

In the midst of dark chaos and conflict she sends an email to the group about water and the health benefits of drinking 8 glasses. A couple of other women respond re their experiences/thoughts at the negative effects of drinking too much water. All the water talk reminded me of Dr Emoto. I pulled his children’s book off my shelf --the one he signed: for Turtle Island. Then the light went on in a flash! What a great project for TW’s Heart and Soul. I had talked with another friend about doing a Heart and Soul presentation and that field of possibility was left open. This is that lesson about listening, watching and holding space for creative energy to fill in/evolve. A possible project that can help me talk about energy healing and power of vibration.

Yesterday three of us women sat at a kitchen table on a small farm talking about future goals and tasks. We talked about the seeds we want to plant in the Spring. We all got excited about pickling beets and clearing out the old asparagus patch. My job on the farm had begun. I noticed that the young woman was wearing gold and amber beads that I complimented. I noticed her looking at my gold and amber colored scarf that I had knitted. I think of these colors as angelic as honey bees.

Resistance to Resilience

To __________

This communication to me is rude, disrespectful and inappropriate. I ask that you not email me in this way again.

I am currently scheduling appointments with city council members as I did with Brittany at BuyBOTHELL. I am doing so to listen to their ideas about what "buy local" might look like in Woodinville. Listening to others is key to building a resilient community and creating partnerships. Listening is how we tap into the "creative genius" of our community. Listening is a humble process as one is open to the thoughts and feelings of others. I see creative possiblities with the city, chamber and others. Please don't tell me again, "That won't work." I don't see the world the way you do.

Inclusion is what makes Transition unique. It is not politics as usual with the old you vs. me/us vs. them mentality. I care about inclusion and see it as a circle with many parts that are valued and respected.

TW orientations, facebook, website and events are all opportunities to include people (the many parts) in our community by inviting them to participate and contribute their visions, ideas and actions that revolve around positive solutions. I don't intend to stop this flow of creativity that is already in motion.

I love this work of reaching out and building community and I intend to keep charging forward in a positive way that is right for me.

Window Dynamics

She continues to tell me, "That won't work." She is analytical and I am intuitive. I suggested we have different styles. She defensive telling me to read this and that so I would know the facts; me with bottons pushed. After some firm self-talk-- masculine logic to feminine feelings--I determined to disengage from her.

Then I had a dream about dancing with a man. Arm in arm we spun and whirled: exhilarating tension. The dream then went into dramas of relationship tensions...that get rather boring even when the characters/sets vary. That spinning dance will never get boring!

I woke up and scanned that "window" of my world. It seems to be like a crystal ball that I look into for information. I thought of this woman and to my surprise there were no buttons being pushed. My emotional waters were still. I figured that self-talk really worked!

She emailed again. I had determined not to engage but my body started to write to her about how my process is different: I don't have an agenda; I'm not trying to change people's minds; I see creative possibilities. It's good to articulate my "political" style so that people can understand me...or maybe so that I can understand myself.

Then I noticed how a negative thought was spinning out and how it was "caught" and thrown back for readjustment. Seems to be "guard rails" of some sort that send an alarm when my chemistry crosses a line. I love being able to sense this dynamic that has to do with that window. It's all new!

Resilience

I used to respond to comments posted on Deepak Chopras website. Now, I am responding to Rob Hopkin's Transition Culture website. It's a very nourishing process to engage and be stimulated in feeling, thought, word and action. Doing so creates a unified force that is critically needed NOW to shift our system into alignment.


Personal resilience conveys a fluidity and grace that is needed as we interract with diverse personalities. I continue to be amazed at the differences between people.

In the outreach and engagement of community organizing I sometimes meet individuals who push my buttons and thus set into motion a whole series of reactions — if I let them.

These individuals are my teachers and give me the opportunity to learn to self-regulate my emotions, thoughts and language in order to bridge the gap, heal the rift or dis-engage. Being resilient I get to choose the quality of my responses.

Our inner story is reflected in our outer story both individually and collectively. The more personal response-ability we can take for our own emotions, thoughts, words and actions the healthier…and happier…we will be. As will others around us.

Ego is not resilient and digs in its heels. The higher road is to evolve to another level of Being/Feminine and Doing/Masculine. Resilience is cooperation and partnership between these two opposites.

Universal Care Taking

After two years of unemployment I will soon have a pt job working on a small farm near my house. I will be attending a course on Entrepreneurship Keys to Profitable Farming with the owner and other woman living at the farm.

The owners are interested in developing a "forest to market" income from the multitude of trees and plants already growing on the land and then planting under-crops that would compliment what they have. They hope to have a full range of "re-skilling" classes in place. VEry Transition!

This is what the universe is opening up for me.
The universe takes care of me!
I am well loved!

Transition Transfusion

Responded to Rob Hopkin's New Year post at transitionculture.org. About Unleashing event in Brasilia. Full of color and sound...alive! Words in reponse came through as "Transition Transfusion."

Words are the children of emotion and thought. The are wired in heart/mind and they come up and out through darkness of subconscious heart/mind. They help us be "intelligent" as they reveal what is transpiring in our creative living. This is not linear intelligence but something much more enchanting. Scientists call it quantum physics. I watch it play out in front of me and follow it like the yellow brick road. This creative force needs me as much as I need it. Language is a powerful tool.

Unhealthy food, people, behavior, thoughts create holes in our personal energy field. Adjustments must be made if one is to live and thrive. Same is true of collective field.

Transition activity reminds me of white blood cells and hormones that self-regulate the system of body. Keep up the pressure; keep up the flow.

Community Genius

I can regulate my environment! It just happened. I received a phone call and someone had "put a wrench in my plans"...I started to resist and get heated. But I let go and shifted the whole climate. No big deal... I've also been witnessing how I can temper my thoughts that are not rounded...thoughts that deplete rather than build. It's alchemical in process.

Cosmiculture is like permaculture. Both are whole system design. Micro and macro parts working together in harmony. Each cell/part has a "sun" center with parts responding and relating to it.

I'm also witnessing how Transition Woodinville is a self-organizing system. It's so fun! Someone asks a question of me and soon the answer pops up from someone else. Or I think along a certain line and something comes in that supports it/adds to it. I am building community this way. No, community is building itself and I assist the process.

I've talked about this before on this blog and want to continue to reinforce this positive dynamic of synergy. It is the "community genius" that Rob Hopkins speaks of in The Trnasition Handbook.

Music of Conscious 2011

The news anchor smiles and sounds upbeat as she reports that thousands of birds have fallen out of sky and lie dead in Arkansas; and that hundreds of dead fish have been washed ashore; Keith Stephens from the Arkansas Fish and Wildlife jokes that locusts are next. Why is news of death and destruction reported as entertainment? My emotional intelligence gets furious at this lack of sensitivity. Will I write to CNN about this? Who would I address?

He’s often grumpy. I witnessed his immature behavior and rude manner of speaking to his wife. I will not tolerate anyone speaking to me that way. It was sad to see/hear that she had her own way of reacting.

I took a personality style test on facebook. I am intrapersonal, naturalistic and musical. Musical? I know nothing about music I thought. And yet I am sensitive to the music in my daily life. I am sensitive to the sounds that come out of mouths—my own and others. I choose the tones that surround me.

On January 1, 2011 I look back on my relationships with men the past ten years.

He (a man in this dimension) and I had a telepathic connection that was fiery, sexual. I thought the relationship would ground in this realm. It never did. I thought the fire meant love. That emotion and language was never displayed. I didn’t know about telepathic predators who feed of female energy. He got married. I disconnected. How many women does he relate to in this way?

I met him at a talk. Afterward he blasted me telepathically with sexual fire. Soon he let it be known that he was married. Because of my previous telepathic relationship I was not keen about another one that would never ground in this realm. How many women does he relate to in this way?

He and I dated for a couple months. He was stuck in adolescence and alcohol. He blamed others. I ended it.

He exuded animal magnetism and I fell into another telepathic spin. This relationship held more than fire. How many women does he relate to in this way?

He seemed autistic and wanted to help. I gave him that opportunity. Soon he was talking about sex and that he had never been sexual with a woman. I got tired of fighting him off and will not see him again.

What is my lesson regarding men and fire? Is it about a father who was inappropriate with women; a father who was not available emotionally or mentally? Is it about recreating the music that I grew up with?

And what is my lesson regarding telepathic relationships with men in this realm? They are not sustainable.

And what is the lesson regarding “other women?” Men will change when women change asking for deeper and more meaningful relationship. And women will change when men change asking for the same. Why continue to accept that which is not nourishing at a soul level? Why continue to accept music that is off key?

With increased transparency I begin this New Year with inner male and inner female in agreement. I choose the music of 2011.


For the first time I heard some Transition “gossip” that was off key. She was retelling that someone had commented how a certain group/network was better than another. Her tone of voice was adding fuel to that negative fire. I cut it off saying that Transition is not about old politics with "me vs you" / "us vs them." It’s about inclusion, the more sustainable groups the better and that diversity is healthy.

A healing miracle! A manifestation of sour music turning sweet as he and I sat for two hours working on a budget project in total peace and harmony. We could not have done that a year ago or six months ago. Our cycles of tension and conflict opened up into new territory. Now that is sweeping transition!

Another mystical journey as I looked for the window. A North South tall faery being wings its way West to East in the window. I watch, listen. Told there is a hole in the South East and leakage of substance. Told to put hands on that area. I think about round Earth body and what is located in SE. Arkansas? I place my hands and feel the pressure. As I hold steady Earth body inflates/rounds out. I think about my own body and how my right hip area talks to me about discomfort when I am out of balance nutritionally. Or is it my left hip? It depends on how I view my body…from inside or outside. Am I a vibrational circle with square lines of body?

As I write I get that the window has to do with energetic Meridian lines, Longitude and Latitude. I get that winged Light Beings are assisting with our healing.

As I re-read this lengthy post I see connections through the words and images. How mouths are leaking toxins and need to be intervened. How relationships are leaking toxins and need the same. How both are ingesting toxins. How I choose the level of toxins that flow in and out of my field. All reminding me of a flute – and the pituitary gland that regulate hormones in the body.

Honey Bees and Earth Body

Last night I looked for the window and faery. She was not present but the window loomed large in tree substance. I went to my "corner" and listened/watched. Bees came through. The covered me. I thought of honey, nectar, flower, pollination. Was I feeding them or were they feeding me? I felt them on my skin and enjoyed their company.

I've been sick with a cold the past few days and in an altered state. A friend suggested I caught a bug from someone. I told her I didn't believe that. I do believe that if my immune system is healthy I do not get sick. Another cycle of holiday treats that took me down. I am yielding in this altered state and learning from this illness.

Is the window in circle a blueprint of the psyche? Is the corner a place where I am healed of old patterns that were for coping but which never nourished? Faeries told me once that they "download" energy. I appreciate their work between worlds. They are shamans, healers, medicine folk and super stars in a divine network of light.

Some "professional" might suggest that I need to get over it. Simply say "no" to comfort foods. Healing requires deep, deep work and takes time. As I know this for myself I know this of others. There is no room for judgment. There is room to be still and listen to the wise ones in many dimensions. For me the challenge of every holiday is to transcend not only my own patterns but collective patterns. My body will now know when it's Valentine's Day. I can feel the frantic energy. And so it is for every holiday. Can I learn to be more still and centered in the chaos of this world?

This morning I parked my car at the top of the driveway to check the mail. Getting back into my car I put my head into the car door panel. I have a good gash at the left side of the top of my head! Now how does such a thing happen? Is that to balance my right side...with a good jolt to the left? I didn't think it fun or funny! In fact, it upset me. It's as if I wasn't in my body. This vacancy is a bit scary. I have to continually focus on being grounded in the moment. I don't understand it all so I simply tell the stories.


The other day I watched steam rising from my cup of herbal tea. It was meditative. I am needing more of this kind of medicine as I have alot of fire and love working/doing. As one who advocates Goddess Being over Masculine Doing I need to take my own medicine! Maybe this circle/square space in consciousness will take me and us to the next level of well being and intelligence.

Faery Window

I asked why circle was now a square. I got that they are not separate but one whole. The circle contains the square; the square supports the circle.

Faery eyes and window frame stayed with me for a couple of days. I was drawn to the right "brace" and went there. It was woody with bark, green vine and leaves. I was part of it. Later I crawled into the lower right corner/perpendicular 45 degree angle. I was held there in safety and love. I was comforted. I soaked it up, took it in. I was nourished.

Such mystical experiences are intuitive and feminine. Linear masculine brain cannot understand them. When layers thin between masculine and feminine forces there will be evolved understanding.