Getting Along In This World

My cell phone rang in the library and I answered. A man nearby told me there are no cell phones allowed in the library. I smiled at him!!! I told him, "Thank you!" And I went outside to talk. That's how easy it is to diffuse energy coming in that may not be warm and fuzzy!! That's how easy it is to get along in this world.

Comforting Substance

The recent earthquake has me thinking: Will Earth Mother bring a new leveling field to all of us? Are we seeing just a glimpse of systems breaking down? Will we all be tested at survival? Not emotional survival, nor mental survival but physical survival that has to do with the basics of shelter, food and water. Those of us on unemployment begin to think about basic survival. It's a definite shift.

I'm noticing a quality of "comfort" in my experience of attraction to a man. Perhaps it's the blue and cool part of flame that accompanies the red. I'm also noticing how present and grounded he is...and clear. And that he gives in return...he's responsive. I'm thankful for this experience here/now.

I awoke without expectation or intention. Actually, I awoke after a day of breaking out in a rash or hives. It started at my heels and at 3:00 AM it was all over my upper legs. Not sure what's going to happen next. I had hives many years ago after fasting and then eating too much seafood. This could be a food reaction or an emotional reaction since I've been going through some intense ups and downs. Anyway, I woke up and as I started my day I noticed that there were three special people "with" me. They were simply in my field of consciousness so I spent some time with them via their works of art.

First, I opened the book by Caroline Myss entitled Why People Don't Heal and How They Can. It's about the chakras which reminds me again how Earth Mother's chakra system is awakened as human chakra systems are awakened. We are Her aura (energetic system) so to speak. We protect and comfort Her. Carolyn writes that the organ of skin has to do with the 7th chakra. We are earth's skin--along with trees, plants, rocks, water, etc. (Perhaps my rash is a cleansing of toxins from the ground up. I think it's important for flesh, muscles and bones to let toxins move.) The epilogue is fascinating: Snow White and the Seven Chakras! Thank you, Carolyn.

I listened to a CD from Hay House: How to Get What You Really, Really, Really, Really Want with Wayne Dyer and Deepak Chopra. Very enlightening and entertaining covering ground that is timeless. I want the Obama's to have a copy and may send my extra copy their way. Thank you Deepak and Wayne. These three people also bring "comfort" into my field. It's a comfort that abides in connection.

I was at the grocery store yesterday with a friend. It was crowded and congested. I was concentrating on an item on the shelf and then noticed a woman waiting to get by. She had such a foriegn look on her face. I asked my friend what was that look....entitlement? It was as if she was superior and who was I to block her way. My friend didn't respond to my emotional reaction. She has had a lot of yoga training...and can teach me a thing or two! If I had been in a more centered and loving space I would have smiled at this "uppity" woman and extended love. In the tape Deepak mentions, "Self-importance is a mask for self-pity." People who act superior are really acting out of inferiority--it's a cover up. One can only see through illusion when one's own emotional field is clear...like a mirror....like Snow White and the wicked Queen.

4.5 Earthquake

It's very humbling to feel Mother Earth shake and to hear your house creak with the stress. We are all in Her hands. Have we forgotten to relate to Her? To thank Her? To be reverent toward Her? Her wild Nature reminds us. We don't have control of everything.

Shaken out of a dreamy state at 5:30 AM. I wondered in what level of reality I experienced an earthquake. News confirmed a 4.5 earthquake. The information that came through for me was not to be stressed about unemployment. There will be more shifting over the next few months. Also...to go to the aquafir for a new supply of water.

Unemployment is an emotional experience with highs and lows. It takes away an identity and leaves one without that old ground to stand on. Truth is I'm not ready to go back to work...I want some time off to work on my creative projects. And yet...what about health insurance...and dental...and my savings account? My heart goes out to my unemployed family.

Transcendent Love & Emotional Love

Someone mentioned "transcendent love" and "emotional love". It got my inner wheels turning.

What is transcendent love? What is emotional love? Some thoughts:

Transcendent love without emotion is cold and full of concept and dogma that can lead to self-righteousness.

Emotional love without transcendence is hot and full of need and co-dependence that can lead to addictions.

What would the merging of the two look like? It would emanate as passion sourcing from gravitational attraction, response and contact through touch of earth bodies. This is kundalini in expression, in action. This is energy and matter radiating. Passion is something to rejoice in and celebrate not something to hide under a bushel.

Emotion is feminine and resides in both men and women. Perhaps it even resides in trees, plants, rocks, animals, water, etc. People are afraid of emotions and block their flow or splatter them messily without discernment. Emotions are outlets for loving light (not ego) that can open new channels for creativity of expression in both male and female.

Sexual expression is part of energetic passion. However, there is so much more that can move through love. Sexual expression is a part, not the whole. When two bodies (+)(-) are centered in spiritual transcendence and earthy emotional expression a new quality of love can flow/radiate!

Star Frequencies

No responses regarding a job...yet other responses from friends come in such as this:


DEAR ONES . . . SAT NAM . . . A POWERFUL TIME OF THE STARS

In the course of human life--under "normal" consciousness--we live by accessing the collective ancient human mind's base; filled with 3.5 million year old survival strategies and accessed through the random nature of our emotional or repressed inclinations. And in this way, we live in the mire of our fate. When we are inspired enough to seek guidance from the higher consciousness, we access more elevated frequencies . . . also in the collective ancient human mind, but far more progressive and intuitive than fate. As an individual incarnation, we achieve this access through our sacred disciplines (yoga, prayer, meditation and love), opening the miraculous world of our destiny--far beyond the limitations of fate.

It is for this very reason that our ancient sacred disciplines are so essential to reconstruct those random inclinations. This is mandatory for the next evolution of humanity.In addition to our sacred disciplines, there is what we put into our bodies in the form of food, drink, conversation, study and more. Then in addition there is what we surround our bodies with, up to and including the most distant events . . . the celestial bodies--moon, sun, stars and beyond. The calibration, called Feng Shui and Vastu Shastra at an immediate level, and astrology at a distant level was once a collective of true science . . . then non-believers banished this way of viewing the subtle realities.These energies are at present sending a huge message.

We are Mercury retrograde and in the midst of an extreme period between two eclipses. This is a time for only conscious action. Here is the subtler score: the New Moon Solar Eclipse of January 25-26, 2009 and the Full Moon Lunar Eclipse of February 9, 2009 connects with a Mars/ Saturn /Uranus link within the Moon and Jupiter locked on the 8th and 11th of February. Those two days do NOTHING but meditate and relax. As this is a binary universe--for every action there is an equal reaction--the two weeks we are reviewing here are not only a time to watch out for, but also a moment of unique opportunity. It can greatly empower anything you truly focus your attention on.

It is a deep cleansing process--the Presidential, Cabinet and Congress (a U.S.A. total frequency shift) is merely a symbol of these opportunities. There is a genuine feeling of renewal all over the globe--life's interdependence, interrelatedness and interconnectedness is reflected in the re surging power of Humanity's collective consciousness. Additionally during this monumental moment of change, we are receiving assistance from each other's assistants . . . Angels are out in full force. Join their dancing in the cosmic mix . . . and oh yeah--the Chinese New Year of the Ox--a year to reap great rewards from great effort. Dust off your sacred lofty business plans and prepare to act.

Always with Sacred Love, Blessings, Prayer and Gratitude . . .
Guru Singh and Guruperkarma Kaur.

Inner Voice and Outer Action

I had another one of those "time travelling" experiences sitting at my computer. It's like I'm here AND there in one circular time/space.

I was in the moment working on my sacred feminine project and power animal folder. I was having trouble with formatting text and inner voice told me to save a copy. I didn't question that voice and did just that in the moment. Two minutes later I had somehow deleted all the files in that folder. My heart skipped a beat...but I had saved the original. Whew!

How amazing that this knowing support is there for us to listen to. I was in the moment enough to hear the voice of intuitive knowing and to respond immediately. I hope this pattern can fill out in other areas of my life. I see this communicative cooperation as male and female working together through form/body.

Turtle Island

Walking from the parking lot to the Center for Spiritual Living to hear Carolyn Myss I was enveloped by a pungeant aroma so divine and enchanting that it was uplifting. The connection made me feel enlivened and happy. It put a skip into my step. It was dark so I couldn't locate the source. I am thinking cedar or pine and will go back soon to see if I can identify this green being who emits such sweetness. This was much like my sage experience in Encinitas. Green beings have auras, too, an environmental space channeling communication.

I asked Carolyn to sign her book with "Turtle Island". She looked at me strangely as if this was an odd request. I held my ground clear as a bell and solid as rock. After some hesitation she agreed and signed. This was the same request I made to Deepak Chopra when I met him in Seattle and asked him to sign his book. Carolyn's response reminded me of childhood and how I was different and didn't fit in. Back then I was self-conscious and learned shame. This response met no shame in me. I love Carolyn and look forward to spending time with her and other authors--whose books feed mainstream America--in San Diego this spring. (Archangel Michael will be leading off the event via Doreen Virtue!)

Why Turtle Island? In 1994 I participated in the Blue Moon Medicine Lodge. One woman gifted me with a turtle shell and I made a rattle with a perfect stick I had just found on a hike. A stick that said "take me home". The Grandmother of the lodge gave me the name "Yellow Turtle Spirit". I now realize that I carry Turtle Island like a Native pipe carrier carries his pipe. Turtle is one of my totems. A human form is a totem with a spectrum of beings associated with each chakra. In our linear conditioning we have forgotten our mystical connections. Many have forgotten their childlike imaginations...and many more are reclaiming them.

At the talk a woman sat next to me. I recognized her...Starfeather! She was my mid-wife when I "birthed" my drum in 2002. She had offered a day long workshop and we made our personal drum. "Coincidence" that she would sit next to me out of the thousands of people attending? "Synchronicity" is the word these days. It's that grid pulling parts together.

Mystic Lines of Connection

Had another mystical experience Wednesday night. It's like being in a sweet bubble or force field. In the field was a "knowing" beyond ego and mind informing me that the job at CCSWW has great potential. I was lifted in excitement. The interview the next day went very well (I was full of energy/enthusiasm and it poured forth). CCS is much more grassroots than corporate which suits me well. I see that I have a lot to offer...and...we are discussing salary.

I've met a man I'm attracted to. I like stepping into his eyes and arms -- as friends. And I see him in this dimension! Not certain if he's single. That's important to me these days. I don't have any interest in engaging in lower chakra connection with men who have wives or girlfriends. I'm attracting a man who is a single point of focus. And, if he's not in this dimension, so be it.

A friend and I are going to CSL to hear Carolyn Myss tonight. The church is very close to "my" dragon lake. I say "my" because I had a mystical experience there with dragon. Mystical realms are personal...loving. I'm looking forward to connecting with Carolyn again....mystic to mystic.

Radiation Inside Out = Sun Substance

I heard on the news that docs are telling patients that they need more vitamin D. I hear from many directions that radiation cures cancer. Who's talking about inside out radiation? Is this not sun substance and vitamin D? Health can be generated by our own bodies...it has that natural intelligence and alignment.

Yesterday in this library a woman was asking about books on depression. She was reaching out for help. I wanted to respond and share with her my information and inspiration. How to do that? In a book...or a workshop...or plugging in to a local grassroots non-profit and assist the new national wave of changing lives?

Today I have a job interview at Catholic Community Services. I like this section from their website:

Stories of Hope
For 90 years, Catholic Community Services has lived out our deep commitment to stand in service and solidarity with the people we serve. Stories of Hope are small glimpses into the life tragedies and triumphs of real people. We share these stories in order to inspire and enlighten you to learn more about our work, and to join us in our journey of hope with those we serve.

The salary is a huge step backward, however. The plus is that this is very grassroots and I would be plugged in to volunteers, businesses, churches, neighborhoods and there is a spiritual foundation. Perhaps I could use language that rises up naturally.

New Garden

I am very grateful for my new community (starting to feel like family) at Genesis. The prosperity class was immediately...prosperous! Driving home from the class it felt like I was in a potent energy field and like all good crystal ball experiences I had an "insight". In that class the teacher/book talked about substance and that is what we generated as a community. That is what I was wearing and taking with me on the way home. It is this substance that is the space for "meaning" (to honor Wayne Dyer's movie theme) and the ground for prosperity in this world.

Today I had an emotional low and as the pattern has proven again and again it brought with it a "revelation" about creating a workshop so that I can express the passion that I am and include the language of the sacred feminine. I got that I don't have to wait to write a book. This "ah-ha" was the opposite of that comedy of errors. This "ah-ha" was about a synchronicity of connections. It's as if we're in a new grid where the parts are pulling one to the other in order to serve the whole.

Leaving my job opened ground for many new possibilities. It loosens my soil in consciousness and lifestyle. I did find a job of interest today and sent my resume. It's a job that's in line with Obama's vision for community service.

What a day for America! What a day to stand tall and proud...together.

Spiritual Intimacy

Spiritual intimacy holds dominate polarity in North.
Physical intimacy holds dominate polatiry in South.
These two opposite energies merge and meet in middle earth.

Both polarities are engaged in radiation, attraction, response, contact, union and unified radiation. This kundalini circuit/serpent offers fertile co-creation in one's inner and outer world.

Spiritual intimacy (subtle wavelength invisible to physical eye) manages and regulates physical intimacy (gross wavelength visible to physical eye). Universal laws and personal boundares are set in place. Old ego identity and behavior from once dominate south no longer reigns supreme. A new compass and map is sealed into place (+) and space (-). This new orientation and overview guides personal behavior within oneself and with others. The outside-in orientation is now inside-out! Shift happened!

Relationship expands to include healthy and grounded giving and receiving. Love expands to heal distorted patterns.

Venus

Must give recognition to Venus for holding me in her lines of light in Encinidas. She is an eye in the sky. And...as I was sitting on the beach after sunset a large object streaked across the sky burning out quite close to earth. Quite a dynamic nightscape!

The Evening Star
Venus is often considered the Morning Star or the Evening Star, depending on which time of day it is up and dominating the darkness. For example, through the fall and winter of 2008-2009, Venus will be the most notable object in the evening sky in the west/southwest after sunset. It shines at a stunning -4 magnitude. The only natural objects in the night sky that are brighter than Venus are the Sun and the Moon (Satellites can briefly flare brighter than Venus).
Because Venus is close to Earth, it does not twinkle, as a star does. Its bright white light will hold steady, while if you compare stars in the vicinity, they "twinkle" or seem to waver and even change color.

Two Grids

Before I left for my trip I was anxious about driving in LA. The emotion wouldn't leave and got heavier. I decided I needed to change my attitude/energy and suddenly I saw white substance fill in the LA street grid. This was a perfect solution that didn't come with intention or conscious effort. A solution was needed and when I let go of my negative emotion (fear) something filled in.

I love Encinitas! To my surprise I encountered Paramhansa Yogananda again...at the Self-Realization Fellowship, Gardens and Swami's Beach. Is some cosmic line linking me with this being and energy? The scent of sage at Cottonwood Creek Park was divine...I brought some home. The beach is like a freeway with meditators, tai chi dancers, surfers, walkers, joggers, etc. And those stars...wow! My last day was a vibrational high and that subtle brain wave didn't allow me to get into car to drive to Wayne Dyer's TV broadcast. I had to stay put where I was -- on the beach. On my 7-day trip I had only three disruptions in my pneumoplasm (an Emisarry of Divine Light term): when negative "demons" rose up regarding my sister and childhood patterns; tracker vibes in LA and Encinidas; and the last afternoon when guys were driving aggressively as I tried to cross the street.

When I got lost on the LA freeway I calmly turned it over to my angels...rather than having an emotional breakdown about missing my flight home. More comedy of errors so I took an exit to ask for directions. I noticed several signs with my sacred numbers 7,8 and 9. These numbers always reassure me that the divine plan is unfolding. I stopped at a small hotel and approached an oriental woman wearing bright red lipstick. With calm urgency (what is a word for that?) I told her my plight. She immediately said that I was her "guest" and that I was welcome to have coffee. She printed out a map and went over it with me a couple of times even highlighting in yellow. She was my angel! When I get lost I think there must be a reason...there is land that I am to explore, energy patterns I am to carve or people I am to contact. There's got to be some reason for being so spacey (negative, non-linear ) in this grounded (positive, linear) dimension.

I've been writing this "living book" in blog format for many years. Before the blog I wrote poetry and drew more images. Now I'm getting that this other book that I write wants to be mostly poetry...and much of the previous writing I've done in prose no longer sounds right to my brain and senses. For me prose dillutes energy and uses many words that drag...poetry gathers energy and gets to the point of uplift...and yet I know too much poetry is not balanced. A format is starting to emerge.

From my California trip I brought home two grids. I'm not exactly sure how they interract or relate. One may be positive, the other negative. More material for a book about the Language of the Sacred Feminine. More evol to tune in to.....

Sea Dragon Muse Adventure #2

Locating my beach get-away I drove past this library. It anchored me. Today in full sun with backdrop of bright aqua blue sea this sweet wind needs a kite to dance its rhythms.

Locating my beach get-away colorful and fragrant flowers greeted me in 90 degree formation and NE position; cherub statue sits in garden wall; line of demarcation marks North and South line. This is the perfect spot validated with this 504 (= 9) street number. This spot "contacted" me effortlessly. Our paths crossed invisible to visible.

Yesterday afternoon I sat on the beach watching the sun set. This is one powerful body of water. Roaring waves suggest that man offer respect and a lot of room for change. I am not a water person. Most people I know would rather be at the beach but I am more at home near rock, tree and creek or river. The water/earth edge is the initial dreamscape of my salamander years ago. S/He has gone through many transformations since then.

Sunset notes:
Sunset shifts temperature and colors; arcing rays say goodnight. Sun circle of life force.
Evening star - first star I see tonight - wish I may - wish I might
What is your name? The library has the answer.
Tiny birds float across the sand; people thin out; wood smoke
Sky line reddens in hue
How vulnerable is this coast -- Very, I would guess.

Word comes in: Sea Dragon
Then...I sea them on the waterline; several moving North to South
Then...an energy comes in and around me. This is "contact" and not a mental creation or imaginary fancy. This is "muse" action "in-between" realms. Such is the magic of negative space.
The stars here are incredibly audible. I wish to know their names. There are three stars in alignment (Orion's sword/belt?). I looked for books on the night sky and found The Element Encyclopedia of Magical Creatures:

The magical properties of dragons include the ability to guard treasure and knowledge, to usher in new cycles of time, to shape and sculpt the earth and to endure to the ending of the world.

Angel Readings

Staying with big sis is both integrating and disintegrating. She and my broher-in-law are mothering me with food, shelter, ongoing stimulating conversation and friendship. Sis's writing studio (alive with Muse) has French flair highlighting her unique choices of decor through furniture, fabrics and color. This home is quaint, charming. Yesterday my positive energy shifted and some "holes" started to appear. I started to feel negative spalces in my body and mind -- my old timid and insecure childhood persona (a word I heard from these two psychotherapists) was coming through. Last night I started to get a cold...a sign of internal ground breaking up. My sister fed me nutrition tablets and this morning the drippy nose and pressure in head is gone. I talked with her about what was coming up regarding my relationship with her. I think of her back then as being domineering and cold. She says I got much of her anger. She is present to process the toxins...having done a lot of her own healing work.

This morning I woke up with inspiration to write. Notes and ideas I have already written start to connect and merge. I had gotten a new sense of view from above looking down on all my material. It was like Zeus or Sun looking on creation. This overview can help me organize the parts.

Driving south today through new territory. I'm "living large" for a week. Then it's unemployment mode which will be a very modest lifestyle with a lot of writing -- I think. One thing about living in an inspirational and quantum universe one never knows what the moment will bring. One must stay light on one's feet and turn/shift when it's time. It's a grand design!

I asked my sister and brother-in-law if they would like an angel reading. They did so I introduced them to the cards. I encouraged them to do their own reading and they were quite interested in the messages. In a split second I got that I was to leave my angel cards with them to support their inner healing journeys as well as the healing work they do in their worlds.

There seems to be new "contact" with angels. I'm receiving new support in my day to day moments. It's little things I'm noticing and that I have new grounded awareness. I never thought about angels assisting with grounding but that seems to be what's unfolding NOW.

Los Angeles Muse Adventures #1

Packed and ready to go to Los Angeles as rains poured down and rivers rose up in several local counties. Would I be able to get through the valley if I waited until morning? I was tired and it was 9:00 PM. I turned it over to my angels. Right then...my son calls concerned about the flooding and gives me the boost needed to drive to their house that night as he is transporting me to the airport. Interesting response from angels!

At Sea-Tac Airport I sit cross legged on a chair waiting for departure. I meditate to get centered and energized. I open my eyes and look directly into the eyes of a man walking toward me. We make joyful contact. He asks me questions and I talk with him about yoga and spirituality. He comments about my "transmitting" and that my energy is very sensual. He asks if I'm single and wants to touch hands...a lot. He's Italian and has a nice appearance reminding me of Ghandi with his glasses and large brown eyes. I give him my card/number and invite him to call me since he lives in LA. I mention that I have boundaries around the touching yet give him a kiss on the cheek when saying goodbye.

My new friend met an Italian man at the drumming circle and they have started spending time together. I met a very responsive Italian man at the airport. Now in LA my brother-in-law takes us to the Getty Villa (dedicated to the study of the arts and cultures of ancient Greece, Rome, and Etruria) in Malibu. I begin to wonder about these lines connecting the west coast with Italy. I am drawn to a certain goddess statue, Venus-Hygieia, as she has a cupid at her right side and a snake in left hand. This goddess represents health. I also notice "Dragon Fountain, in Twoli near Rome" mentioned on a work of art.

As soon as I arrive at my big sister's house I notice a very large tree (elm?) at the back. I walk the block taking pictures of the natural world. There are many trees with large trunks who liked having their picture taken!

I sit at my big sister's dining room table having breakfast telling her about male and female energies and my need for more testosterone in my expression. She exclaims, "Goddess is here!" as a spider descends from space at her left side. She says the last time that happened she with in a woman's circle discussing Goddess. I guess that is confirmation about male energy.

I sit under one of my sister's orange trees to sketch and meditate. This is peace work I would like to do! And why not? In a Shift magazine I read The Power of the Collective by John Hagelin that talks about the healing power of meditation. President Obama is creating green jobs. Meditation is a green job and can reduce crime and violence. Why not pay people to meditate?? It's not religious...it's wholistic health!

Hollywood is not what I expected and reminded me of the Puyallup Fair back home. My sister laughs and says it's not Beverly Hills. Wayne Dyer's movie is entertaining and inspirational. I kept noticing the bright eyes of the actors/actresses. They are authentic which adds to the positive impact this film will have on mass consciousness and unconsciousness.

There has been talk about what's next in my life. I drew an angel card recently about study. Was I to attend school or take a class? The man on the plane tells me that I don't need credentials...that I have a gift and to follow that. My brother-in-law tells me again how much he appreciated the service I offered at mom's life celebration. It is so good to be seen and acknowledged. Yet, what does it all mean? What's next in my life now that I'm unemployed?

5:00 AM this morning I was outside briefly and made contact with the full moon (now behind the large elm) as if acknowledging a friend. I felt deep emotional contentment (radiant peace is the term coming through today) at simply Being. As soon as I lay back in bed a rush of information comes in..wholistically. My new work is to write my book. The feminine has created 35 years of experience via "works of art" and now my masculine is kicking into gear to help me structure and deliver it. How does one organize all the material? My sister and brother-in-law are both writers and give me some tips. At the Getta Villa are statues of the Muses. I checked in with each one to see which one I resonated with. I thought "dance." This morning I got..."writing." The lines connecting me to Italy are muse to muse!

Seals of Revelation 5:1

The profound white serpent experience brought with it the word "seal". I read the Revelation chapters out loud and passionately through emotional tears. Emotion is a healing force.

Revelation Chapter 5
And I saw in the right hand of him that sat on the throne a book written within and on the backside, sealed with seven seals.....

And one of the elders saith unto me, Weep not: behold the Lion of the tribe of Juda, the Root of David, hath prevailed to open the book and to loose the seven seals thereof...

And they sung a new song, saying, Thou art worthy to take the book, and to open the seals thereof: for thou wast slain, and hast redeemed us to God by the blood out of every kindred, and tongue, and people, and nation...

Chapter 7
And all the angels stood round about the throne, and about the elders and the four beasts, and fell before the throne on their faces, and worshipped God...

And when he had opened the seventh seal, there was silence in heaven about the space of half an hour...

White Serpent and Angel Reading

This writing is done in a well-rounded emotionally bursting bubble the essence of which cannot be conveyed through linear words.

Radiation, attraction, response, contact, union, unified radiation (never quite sure if attraction is before response or response before attraction...seems one contains the other). This sacred equation and experience is emotional.

In this process I saw and felt white scales on left side of a being that emerged into a white serpent. He hung out awhile in circle formation holding sparkling presence. I know his face and mouth well as I've drawn him over the years. However, I have never seen such a white serpent before! (The difference between serpent and dragon is that dragon has wings.)

I asked my angel cards (Healing with the Angels Oracle Cards by Doreen Virtue) what white serpent has to say:

Past: Emerging
You are awesome in so many ways, and you are beginning to trust and reveal your true nature more easily. At one time, you may have believed that you had to hide your feelings from others (or even from yourself!). Now, however, you realize how vital and attractive expressing your authentic self is.

Your angels are guiding you to honor your true feelings by expressing them to yourself and others. The angels willhelpyou lovingly talk about your feelings so that no misunderstandings occur with friends and loved ones. Your angels will never guide you to do or say anything that could hurt you or anyone else! They will also ensure that your life will emerge to a new level of inner peace as you let your true self come out and play.

Present: Soulmate
Your heart yearns for a big love. Since you are on the spiritual path, you desire a partner with a similar philosophy and common interests. Can you have great passion and spiritual companionship wht the same person? This card confirms that your answer is, "Yes!" By drawing this card, your angels ask you to trust in and follow their lead.

Your angels have heard your prayers for a great love, and they guide you to take steps to manifest this desire. If you are in a current relationship, your angels ask you to release this partnership to them. In that way, they can help elevate your relationship to a soulmate level, or help you to gently end it so that your new love may appear. Either way, they will closely assist you and give you clear steps to take.

Future: Celebration
The angels want you to know that this is a light-filled time in your life. You have been working toward making changes, and your intentions have now manifested into form. This is the time for you to fill your heart with a warm feeling of gratitude.

The angels ask you, through this card, to hold strong in this gratitude. You are like a gardener who plants seeds and nurtures them because she has faith that her labors will yield new growth. Keep watering and tending to your seeds, and you will soon see them sprouting through the surface. The angels are your c0-gardeners, who help you tend to your crop.

Attraction and Feedback Loops

During the snow storm I watched the guys in their trucks spin their wheels trying to get up the icy driveway. I wondered why none of them stopped to shovel the way clear. This morning I came to a snowy patch blocking the bike trail. All the bikers had gone around the snow. I wondered why no one stopped to clear a pathway for themselves and others. With a stick and my foot I cleared some snow for a pathway. Are people lazy? Are they self-centered or in a hypnotic trance? Are they not aware that their actions can benefit themselves and others? Seems that many people are content spinning the same old wheels rather than doing something new. Why are some feedback loops in stuck mode? What is the difference between people who volunteer/give and those who don't? What is the difference in those brain bodies?

Radiation is dominately positive but contains a negative aspect which is inherent in response and attraction. I'm noticing a new quality of attraction because the body is new. Attraction is both energy and matter. What is a word to describe this union? Synergy? Attraction has new feedback loops and not the same old spinning wheels. A sign of new intelligence.



Synergy:
The interaction of two or more agents or forces so that their combined effect is greater than the sum of their individual effects.
Cooperative interaction among groups, especially among the acquired subsidiaries or merged parts of a corporation, that creates an enhanced combined effect.
[From Greek sunergiā, cooperation, from sunergos, working together. See synergism.]

Dreams and Contacts

Flying dreams on strong, sweet currents lifting me upward and in all sorts of aerial patterns. Some quite intense and thrilling. Flights to other dimensions: a hazardous waste site with everyone wearing white dealing with a white powder; a foriegn country where I tried to be invisible but people saw me and talked to me in a language foriegn; a man from high school giving me a strong kiss -- a man who passed away a couple of months ago and someone I was not attracted to. What does he communicate? What do all these dimensional places/people communicate? As I flew I took off clothes representing core innocence and not sexuality. Perhaps I can be more intentional about radiating light in these other dimensions without fear and self-consciousness.

I sensed someone respond with the question: What do I mean when I talk about feeling vulnerable when expressing emotions? The question indicates a new quality of contact that wants to see and know more. The question represents forward motion rather than worn out ruts and spinning wheels.

My emotional vulnerability has to to with hitting ceilings because my contacts and relationships with men have been limited. I, and the men in my life, have not known how to stay focused in one-pointed relationships. We have tried to have primary relationships while having "on the side" relationships. This dilutes the waters, the electric current, between two people. As exciting as this might be to one's ego and sexual hormones it does not feed one's soul. I am aware that my kundalini circuitry needs one external male point of focus. It doesn't mean that I need a male to make me whole. It means that I need a male partner for co-creation -- not procreation. I don't have the foundation for this new quality of contact and relationship...thus the vulnerable feelings. However, now that this energetic emotional pattern has been identified -- thanks to someone responding with a question -- all things can be made new because new ground is created. It's a dynamic living quantum process because new contact and contacts are in place.

Hormones Speak

Expressing feelings honestly, from the core, makes one vulnerable. It's like turning oneself inside out and in so doing being exposed to the elements of nature and thus change. Honesty brings integration and disintegration and one never knows what the transformational effects will be.

The new drumming circle was more dissonate than resonate. The sounds felt chaotic. Perhaps because I was not in a good mental space due to an earlier incident. The teacher, however, offered something synchronistic. He had an X marked in the middle of the circle and a chair that swiveled. He encouraged us to sit in the center and turn full circle to listen to the different musical sounds. One could tune to all the parts as if they were beaming at you. That center place of X reminds me of "middle earth."

At the library yesterday I was online renting a car for my trip and in the process of checking my emails a surge of emotional energy came in and then quickly stopped. I wondered who was behind that communication...who was at the end of that line. Later I got that it was Tracker...who has followed me on trips. At first I had no emotional response and thought I would ignore him as he has no power over me. A little later I felt the impressions of a man invading a woman's personal space. It felt toxic...creepy. Emotional gears shifted and I got upset feeling helpless and vicitmized. And then...another shift...and I got angry! I now have a plan of action: Call the local sheriff's deputy who took the last report about this stalker; Get the names and numbers of detectives in LA and San Diego; Know the local police in the areas I'm staying; and Talk to Ford about taking my rental car to their service departments to check for tracking devices. These different gears of emotion represent different "hormonal" responses. I grew up as a timid and self-conscious child. I carry some of those qualities to this day. I am now learning to say "NO." It feels strong and masculine...what hormone would it be?

I continue to take a stand and speak out for sacred and safe feminine space. There are invisible boundaries and visible laws to protect women. Reading a woman's emails, stalking and invading her personal space is illegal and has consequences. I support consequences. I am not a timid and weak female who will be abused by a male. It's time for women to be more strong and men to be more soft. What hormones can assist with this balance? Are they hormones already moving in the whole system or are they hormones yet to reveal themselves?

Last I heard Tracker lives in the Bay area. He comes to this area regularly to work on CyberTracking and teach at his Wilderness school in Duvall. I have given this information to local authorities.



Google:

Estrogen is probably the most widely known and discussed of all hormones. The term "estrogen" actually refers to any of a group of chemically similar hormones; estrogenic hormones are sometimes mistakenly referred to as exclusively female hormones when in fact both men and women produce them. However, the role estrogen plays in men is not entirely clear.

In order to understand the role estrogens play in women, it is important to understand something about hormones in general. Hormones are vital chemical substances in humans and animals. Often referred to as "chemical messengers," hormones carry information and instructions from one group of cells to another. In the human body, hormones influence almost every cell, organ and function. They regulate our growth, development, tissue function, sexual function, the way our bodies use food, the reaction of our bodies to emergencies, and even our moods.

Wayne Dyer

Radiation, attraction, response, union, unified radiation

There is a missing piece to this equation. That missing piece is "contact" which happens before union. Contact is an X crossroads representing energy and matter...kundalini force. Contact holds new space for new energy that includes more choices through response and action. It's as if there is new wiring and circuitry that conscious humans co-create.

I'm looking forward to being in California in a few days supporting Wayne Dyer through his new film and TV broadcast. Interesting how unemployment opened the way for this along with other synchronistic factors. What is the emotion that rises up when witnessing synchronicity? It's both humble and jubilant. It's like watching a quantum universe manifest before one's eyes. It's awesome magic...fun!

I found this writing the other day in one of my journals:

8/3/2002

The passing of day
Morning weeding
Smell of damp earth
Coolness of air
Sounds all their own

Noon relaxing
A yummy lunch: salad with kalamati olives
Reading New Times
Wayne Dyer inspiration
I agree with him!
We believe/think alike!
That's good!

Noon sun overhead representing intelligence, enlightenment


Six+ years later it feels like the quantum universe delivering flowers on my doorstep!

Welcome 2009

Alliance for a New Humanity's January e-newsletter features: Resolutions to Serve the Planet by Annie Lennox, Deepak Chopra, Raymond Blanc, Tim Smit and others share their resolutions for the New Year. I love this shift of focus! It reminds me of the conversations I'm having with Rev. Charles at Genesis-Global about the opportunity to build an economy on service to others rather than monetary and material exchange. This shift is from getting to giving. It's in giving that we receive -- when did this cycle flow get turned around with the negative aspect of receiving first?

New Year's Eve I went with my friend to a non-drinking party. Conversation included comments about issues that people were dealing with. One woman said there were layers and layers of issues. I said that was a great opportunity to go to one's core. She looked at me strangely...not sure why. Do people know there is a core where there are no issues? That there is a place of peace and comfort? A place of alpha and omega? We then went to a local Ananda Community for meditation. The room of meditators felt comfortable and like family as one man was quietly snoring. I couldn't relate personally to the songs or prayers to Paramahansa Yogananda and while others offered this gratitude my thoughts went to trees and rocks. (Maybe I'll read his book one day to get to know him.) I was introduced to yoga 30 years ago and didn't do well when I was told I had to hold my fingers/thumbs in a certain way. I thought "no way"...what about those people who didn't have hands. It simply wasn't my path. Tonight my friend and I will go to a drumming circle to bring in a new year in yet another energetic way.

I heard Dan Siegel on the radio talk about his book The Mindful Brain in Psychotherapy: How Neural Plasticity And Mirror Neurons Contribute to Emotional Well-Being. I have to read this book! In my words it's about a new "contact" in brain-body that allows one to change old patterns and move in new circuitry.

I am watching more Lord of the Rings movies looking for that scene where lights are lit on hillsides in a battle with darkness. (Maybe it's a scene from a different movie.) That scene is powerful representing for me points of light within and all around the planet. Lights that are intentionally set for the well-being of the whole. I love the tree scenes in The Two Towers series. "Nobody cares for the woods anymore," says the talking tree.